Page 50 of Awestruck at Dusk
“Olive,” I said an inch away from his lips, again in the best accent I could muster. “Do you remember?”
“Always. Now please leave, young lady, before I decide to follow you to the bathroom and lock the door.”
I laughed. And it got me thinking … things.
“I’ll cool off by making sure Tobias doesn’t do anything stupid,” Nathan said, walking away. It made me feel more at ease to hear that Nathan would be close by just in case. I didn’t want Cecile to find herself caught up in the middle of a weird or uncomfortable situation.
My watch marked 9:55 p.m. That meant that there were at least two more hours to go before my birthday. I knew the party wouldn’t be over at least until after midnight. And according to Tobias, I wouldn’t be allowed to leave until dawn. But that was before our argument. He probably wouldn’t mind if I left right now.
Whatever.
I emptied my wineglass, which took me a few seconds to do so, and dropped it on one of the cocktail tables as I walked toward the bathroom, feeling a bit rattled after my discussion with Tobias.
Amena’s arm appeared out of nowhere, opening the door to the ladies’ room before I could do so.
“Shit, Amena. You scared the hell out of me.”
“My apologies, Miss Murphy,” she said with a smile that felt like a bucket of iced water on me—a suffocating reminder of how I couldn’t even pee on my own. Wouldn’t want to get swallowed by the toilet.
Amena opened the wooden bathroom stall door and took a quick look, then nodded, as she always did, just to make sure there wasn’t someone waiting for me inside to watch me do my business. We then proceeded to the usualme peeing and pretending Amena isn’t listeningscenario.
I stepped out and washed my hands carefully. Amena helped me with that too since I didn’t want to get my cast wet. That was the convenient part of having her coming into the bathroom with me these days.
A couple of girls walked in when I was retouching my lipstick.
“Hi! You’re Billie, right? I’m Lana, and this is Poppy. We’re Lily’s friends.”
They were clearly Lily’s friends. They both had the whole model look going on. Lean, long legs, long necks, flawless skin.
“Hi! Yes, I’m Billie. Nice to meet you.” They both went in for a hug, which caught me off guard and made Amena take a step forward.Easy, I said to her with my eyes. Geez.
“Happy birthday,” Poppy said with a sweet smile. “Are you having a good time?”
“Yes, thank you.” I smiled back.
“We can’t wait for the band to come out,” Lana said, pushing her short dark hair behind her ear. Apparently, everyone was very much into jazz these days. Poppy agreed with her as she checked herself in the mirror, tousling her blonde curls.
They both walked away toward the bathroom stalls as Lana said with a smirk over her shoulder, “Anyway, hope you keep having fun tonight, Billie. And say hi to Nathan for me.”
I probably wouldn’t have given that much thought to her comment if it weren’t for Poppy shaking her head disapprovingly as she pulled Lana away.
“Ah, sure. See you guys later.”
Ughhhh! Now my mind was inevitably thinking aboutwhyandhowthey knew each other. Why couldn’t I be like Cecile? Dismissing the bullshit around me one raised eyebrow at a time.
Amena opened the door for me, and as I walked back to the party through the long corridor, “What Difference Does It Make” from The Smiths started playing. And that just did it for me. I was sure my father had requested the music. Or maybe Nathan did because he knew I liked them. But my legs stopped cold, refusing to keep walking as the memory of Caleb and me dancing and singing to that song in my apartment a few months ago invaded my mind.
His voice singing the song in his lovely accent was all I could hear inside my head. And a very real bummer about dying that no one talks about is how once you die you never get to listen to your favorite music ever again. And the thought of him being deprived of that—of life—broke my heart all over again.
“Shit, shit,shit.” I placed my left hand against the wall and rested my forehead on it.Someone get me out of here. This was the type of thing that would merit an SOS beacon, and thinking about that just made things worse. Yeah, I could still use it. But it was Caleb’s favorite thing, and now that he was gone, I would never get to see his excited face after I pulled an SOS.
This is how my mind works. I start pulling on a thin string, and a whole building collapses on top of me eventually. There was no way to stop the bullet train of thoughts from running me over.
“Miss Murphy, is everything okay?”
No.
“Yes.” I took a deep breath and turned around. “Please ask David to come here. Quickly, please.”
