Page 60 of Awestruck at Dusk
Joel shouted something Viking-ish behind me. And Lily and I burst out laughing. And when William shot a sharp nod at Dave, the song exploded, and the crowd too.
Tobias and Eric came looking for Joel since we stood in the front row. They kept cheering and whistling at a performing William.
I looked over my shoulder, and Nathan seemed anything but happy, but still, he smiled at me. I extended my hand to him, and he took it. I pulled him closer to me, and Zara shouted, “Sis!” as she darted our way.
She hugged Nathan and me and said, “Are you having a good time?”
“I am, thank you!” I shouted back through the noise.
“He’sbloodybrilliant! Look at him!” she shouted, staring at William on stage, stars bursting out of her eyes. She sang along, standing in between Nathan and me. And I had no other option but to stare at William as he sang and played that freaking song.
And I wanted to shout and cheer too, but I couldn’t. I sang, though, and I thanked the Norse gods that William never once looked in my direction.
The show was over, and the band stepped off the stage after thanking the crowd a few times. William idled with Dave, talking. Zara unlocked herself from us and placed her hand on Nathan’s cheek. “You alright, Natey? Your eyes look wonky.”
“Amgood,” he shot back with a smile.
“Right. Well, I’ll see you guys later.” Zara smiled at both of us and walked away.
“Thank you. For putting all of this together,” I said to Nathan, placing my arms around his neck as the crowd dispersed. “The necklace is beautiful too. I loved it.”
A handful of brave souls dared to go up the stage and ask for a photograph with Dave, to which he agreed. Bryce was obviously one of them. I still owed her a photo-op with William.
And … no. No, I didn’t owe her anymore. Bryce took care of it herself by asking William directly. Nolan carried Emily by the waist and helped her up the stage. She joined Bryce for a selfie with William, and then they took one each with him.
I laughed.
“Well, as you can imagine, the show thing was all William’s idea,” he said with an edge of bitterness in his words.
“But you organized the whole thing, so it wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t,” I reminded him.
“I guess so,” he said with a forced smile. He looked at his watch and said, “Shit. Twelve-oh-two. Happy birthday, love!” He ran his arms around my waist and lifted me as I held on tight to his neck. “I love you.” He attacked my lips with a bunch of kisses.
“Billie!” Lily shouted as she hurried our way. Joel followed close behind. Nathan placed me back on my feet.
“Happy birthday!” She hugged me tight and swayed me from side to side in a rough but full of love kind of way. Joel hugged me next, and then Eric came along. And then everyone I knew approached me to say happy birthday. One by one, I hugged them all.
This was all very new to me. I’d never had this many friends. It felt weird. Last year, there were plenty of people at the surprise party, but they were mostly Embassy staff. I’d made a lot of great friends in New York, and it felt kind of great to realize that.
“Kiddo,” I heard my father say behind me. Nina was hugging me. She smiled and stepped aside. “Happy birthday. I can’t believe you’re twenty-one already. The show was great. Did you enjoy it?”
And I don’t know if it was all the hugging or just a matter of time before it happened, but a horrible, shuddering chill crept up and down my spine, finally stationing itself on the pit of my stomach. My forehead felt moist with tiny droplets of cold sweat, and I held on to my father’s arm with one hand. I knew what was about to happen, whatneededto happen so the discomfort could find its release.
“Kiddo?” My father searched for my gaze, but I couldn’t make myself look at him. “Amena!” he shouted.
I turned around and held on to Nina. “Bathroom. Now,” I pleaded. She linked her arm with mine, and Nathan took my other arm. I heard people talking around me, but I was done registering what they were saying.
Amena opened the bathroom door, and in we went Nina, Amena, and me. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Nina helped me get on my knees and held my hair back. I’d never felt so disgusting and embarrassed in my entire life as I threw up in the fucking public toilet.
Right Behind You
April 11, 2010
I PRESSED THEruby pendant tightly against my chest. I didn’t want it to get dirty with my vomit. Nina kept running a hand up and down my back, trying to comfort me. I finally felt like I was done and tried standing up, but Nina helped me.
Amena stood outside the bathroom stall, holding a glass of water. She offered it to me, and I almost snatched it away from her hands.
I drank deep, trying to get the awful acid tang away from my taste buds.
