Page 70 of Awestruck at Dusk
Hello, Jordan’s ass.We meet again.
I shut the door as slowly and cautiously as I could and ran back to the kitchen to stare at how each drop of coffee fell into the pot. If only to wipe out the image of Jordan’s body sprawled on the bed naked beside Cecile—his tattoos slithering up his arm and fading onto his shoulder blade. Another long, black, geometrical tattoo ran down the length of his spine.
Tobias was going tomurderme, not if, butwhenhe found out about this. It was a matter of time before Jordan mentioned something to Tobias. They were friends, but I assumed he hadn’t told Jordan a thing about liking Cecile or sleeping with her in the past. And I didn’t know if Cecile would even mention it to Jordan.
The coffee was still brewing at a glacial pace, so I went to my room and changed into jeans and an oversized black t-shirt, slightly tucking it in the front. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and two ibuprofen from the foyer closet on my way back to the kitchen and slipped them into my back pocket.
It was 8:15 a.m., and the coffee was finally ready. I grabbed a cup and filled it up as the rich smell of it invaded my nostrils. I took the first sip, and suddenly, I believed that everything was going to be okay, that I’d done the right thing in choosing Nathan. I just had to allow things to fall into place, like an ocean settling after a level-five storm.
A faint knock on my door interrupted me from drinking my authorized stimulant of choice. They could take wine and cigarettes away from me, but never coffee.
I grabbed my cup and took it with me to open the door. When I peeked through the peephole, I saw the last person on Earth I wanted to see right now: Tobias.
“Hey, Billie,” he said, twitching his lips to the side. “Happy birthday.” His eyes looked tired—remorseful.
Hell no.
I reached for the pills and pushed them down my throat with a long drink that almost drained my coffee and scorched my esophagus in the process.They better kick in fast. Then, I stepped out to talk to Tobias in the hall.Let there be witnesses, I thought, looking up at the camera.
It wasn’t going to be a lazy Sunday.
“Thanks, Tob,” I said with a smile, wondering if it would conceal the mini panic attack that was about to surface.
“I’m so sorry about yesterday. I was drunk, and I messed up,” he said, rubbing the overnight scruff on his face. “I know I haven’t talked to you about Cecile, but I honestly thought you knew something. She’s your best friend, I mean, how is it that she hasn’t—” he trailed off, taking his hands to his face and rubbing it with exasperation.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said reassuringly. “I feel like shit because you know I wouldn’t have introduced them if I knew something was going on between you guys. And I don’t know why she’s chosen not to tell me about it. After her breakup with Paul, she—well, Sophie says she hasn’t gotten over what happened. Andhowit happened. She hasn’t been able to forgive herself for it.”
“I know that. We’ve talked—a lot. And she’s been clear with me from the start. It’sjustsexand nothing more, but I keep hoping she will warm up to me, you know?” He dragged a hand through his light brown hair.
“The conversations we’ve had it’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced with anyone else before, Billie. It’s like I can’t help but open myself up to her. Like I want to bare my soul to her. And when we’re together, I feel like we’re on the same page. That we want the same things, but the moment she walks out the door, she’sgone.”
I loved them both so much, and nothing would’ve made me happier than to see them happy together. But I also knew Cecile, and I knew what Tobias was talking about. She could put up thick walls when she wanted to—the kind of walls that are impossible to take down.
“I’m in a bit of a hurry. My flight leaves at ten-o-five, but I assumed she’s here, and I just want to talk to her real quick before I go. I don’t know when I’ll get to see her again.”
I looked over my shoulder at my door and bit my lower lip, thinking of what to say that wouldn’t give away the fact that Cecile wasindisposedat the moment.
“She’s sleeping, Tob. I don’t think it’s—”
“Please, Billie,” he begged. His puppy eyes were going to be the death of me. “I know I fucked up yesterday. Wake her up and tell her I’m here, and if she doesn’t want to talk to me, then fine. I’ll leave.”
“Give me one second.” I went back inside my apartment, not knowing how to fix this mess. I didn’t want to lie to Tobias. He didn’t deserve it. But I also wanted to protect Cecile. I didn’t know what to do!
Tobias pushed the door open and caught me pacing in the foyer.
“Why aren’t you waking her up?”
“Um, yeah, it’s—that’s what I was about to do.”
Tobias locked his gaze with mine and angled his head. “He’s in there, isn’t he?”
I swallowed and gathered up the words to say, “Yes, he is.”
“I’m going to fucking kill him,” Tobias said through his teeth, aiming at the guest room. The creamy skin on his face and neck built up in color and his fists were clenched so hard his knuckles were white.
I dropped my mug on the foyer table and ran after him, pulling his arm with my single functioning hand. “Tob! Tob, look at me. Please, wait!”
He didn’t look at me, and he didn’t wait. He dragged me with him with every step he took. And then the guest room door flew open.
