Page 32 of Awestruck at Dusk
My blood boiled at his cynicism.
“I need to talk to Zara in private,” Nathan said abruptly. “Would you mind, love?”
“No, of course not. Not at all.”
“Let’s go,” he said to her, jerking his head. She put her cigarette out and nodded with a sigh as in,let’s do this thing.
“I’ll meet you guys later,” I told Nathan, lifting my cigarette. I wasn’t planning on putting a good cigarette out. “Mimi’s home. Just knock.”
“I’ll keep her company,” William said, the corners of his mouth slightly lifting, his hands moving inside his pockets.
Nathan snorted. “Whatever,” he said, kissing my cheek. “I’ll see you in a bit.”
They both walked away, and the door shut behind them with a bang.
“So that’s Zara,” William said. “Yoursis.” He laughed again. He plucked the cigarette out of my fingers and tossed it away.
“Hey! I’d just lit that up!”
“Ihate itwhen you smoke that garbage,” he said, taking a sharp breath in through his nose. “You’re just like Zara. Stubborn, unruly. You’ll get along perfectly well.”
“I don’t think I’m rebellious.”
William snorted. “Oh, youareälskling. You’re just being restrained. But that itch you feel inside you, urging you to be set free, will only grow stronger with time. Fast. I’ve told you before. You won’t live like that forever. You can’t. You’ll explode one day if you do.”
I’d forget how well William knew me. The things I’d shared with him in the last year were enough for him to understand the hidden desires of my heart.
Freedom.
“Yeah, well, it seems to me like I’m far away from breaking free from my father’s grip,” I said in a bitter tone. “After what happened”—I shook my head a few times—“he’ll never back down.”
“You’re just scared,” he said, taking a step forward.
“I’m—I’m not.”
“You are.”
I hated how William taking a simple step in my direction could alter my body’s chemical composition. Ihatedit.
“Let’s go for a pre-birthday ride. I’ll get the Porsche,” he said. “We’ll sneak out.” He was dead serious.
“You’reinsane.” The kind of insane that called my attention. “And should you be driving? You’re still recovering from surgery.” I turned around and leaned against the railing, looking down at how hundreds of cars drove around the city.
“Your guys will catch up with us, of course, eventually,” he added, standing beside me. “And Dr. Lindström didn’t mention anything about driving, although he did ask me to refrain from other … bedroom activities. For a while.” He smiled, and I focused my attention on counting cars.
Hewasinsane. For a number of reasons. And him not being allowed to have sex by medical instruction was music to my ears. I hoped he would communicate that to mysisas soon as possible.
“But what about Zara? Won’t she get jealous?” I taunted him. Trying to measure the situation. “And Nathan … I don’t think you want to mess with him right now.”
William stood behind me and grabbed my shoulders. My body tensed up, my lungs resigned, and the smell of him that close to me was going to be the end of me. He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “The only person who’s jealous … is you. And you don’t have to be jealous of yoursis. We’re just friends. Trust me.”
He released me, and I took a deep, ragged breath. I heard him chuckle behind me.
Trust—my personalized brand of kryptonite.
I’d learned from experience that Icouldtrust him, but he kept throwing these challenging situations at me. Things that made it very hard for menotto react—to doubt. And the fact that I couldn’t just ask directly about it was even more exasperating.
Besides, he spoke for himself, but I didn’t know a thing about Zara’s heart. What if she was madly in love with him? In secret. Or maybe it wasn’t a secret, and he knew already.
