Page 62 of Awestruck at Dusk
“Just tell me!” I shouted. His eyes widened at me, and his features quickly blazed up into anger. I’d never spoken to my father that way. Never raised my voice like that before. But my patience grew thin, just like his. But we’d been bottling things up all these years. I know I had. And it only got worse the older I got because nothing made sense to me.
My father didn’t enjoy me screaming at him like that. That was perfectly written on his face, but still, he said nothing. He gave me a pass because, for some reason, he thought I deserved one. I thought so too.
“Is someone—coming to get me as they did with mom?” I asked in a low, controlled tone.
“You’ve got nothing to worry about. You’re safe. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I couldn’t keep your mother safe, but I won’t make that same mistake again with you. Look what happened with Thomas the moment I let my guard down with that kid.”
I wanted to say so much. How Thomas had been this awful thing that happened but totally unrelated to whatever “danger” he thought my life might pose. And yes, they’d been lax with his background check because my father wanted to change—to trust again.
And once more, all of it led to an unfortunate series of events that had driven me back into a cage I feared might be permanent. Because there I was at the dawn of my 21st birthday, still feeling like a helpless child in my father’s presence.
I knew it was useless to say any of those things to him, and I didn’t know how much longer I could resist even sitting in this chair. I needed to lie down and get some sleep.
And after more than a few scared-shitless seconds fled the scene, my father said, “He’s been given a sentence—Senator Hill. He’ll spend a long time in prison for murdering his son.”
I took my hands to my face and covered my eyes for a couple of heartbeats.
Justice, after all.
“Let’s go,” my father said, offering his hand.
“You’re never going to tell me, are you?” I asked with a slight grimace drawing itself on my face.
“There’s nothing to know. Just know that you’re safe.” His hand was still extended toward me. I finally took it.
Did I have a choice?
And just when we were about to leave the bathroom, he added, “And the fact that you live alone doesn’t mean you’re independent. You’re still living undermyroof, which means there won’t be any alcohol allowed inside that apartment from now on.
“And I don’t even need to tell you that you can’t smoke either. I don’t care if you’re twenty-one. Those are the rules you are to abide by if you wish to remain there, yes?”
I nodded. I knew what Option B consisted of if I refused to comply: Going back to his apartment.
Never.
“With time, you’ll understand it’s all in your best interest. You are trying to drink and smoke the pain away. Just like your mother did, and I know you still miss her and Caleb—”
Stop!
“Please,” I said, raising a hand in front of my chest. “I don’t want to talk about—him.” I didn’t even want to utter his name. I’d just recently been able to talk about my mother without bursting into a bawl. But Caleb … I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t. And the night had been humiliating enough. I refused to walk out that door crying and making a fool out of myself.
He opened the door, and Nathan, Nina, Aiden, Zara, Lily, and Joel stood there waiting for us to step out. David and Amena flanked the bathroom door with a firm bodyguard stance in place. Amena never went for that glass of water. I wouldn’t have either if I were her. My father could be very intimidating when he wanted to be.
Thankfully, William wasn’t there. At least he was thoughtful enough to spare me the humiliation because there wasno wayhe didn’t know what happened. The Sjöberg grapevine ran a tight network. I knew that much.
The party seemed to continue outside. Good … because the show must go on and all that crap. It would be easier for me to sneak out that way if people were still having fun—distracted.
Sophie and Cecile were right outside the corridor that led to the bathroom. I guess they heard I felt ill too but didn’t want to cram up outside the bathroom door.
I quickly approached them and whispered, “I feel likeshit, and my father has pulled the plug. He’s making me go back to the apartment.” I looked behind them, and Jordan talked and laughed with Ren, most probably waiting for Sophie and Cecile to return. “You should stay.”
“No, of course not. We’ll leave with you,” Sophie said.
“No.Pleasestay. You never get to see Ren. You seem to be having fun. You too,” I said to Cecile. I took my keys out of my purse and handed them over to her.
“Are you sure, Billie? It feels wrong to stay,” Cecile replied.
“Please, do it for me. Tomorrow we’ll spend the entire day together.”
