Page 81 of Awestruck at Dusk
“Nolan told me how Nathan was out of town and that you like going to church on this day every year. So, if you want, we’ll be happy to keep you company,” Emily offered.
“Thank you. You really are the best,” I said to them. “But Nathan arrived earlier today, so he’ll be coming with me.”
“Oh, that’s great, Bee. I’m so glad he could make it,” Nolan replied with a smile.
“Anyway,” I said, looking at my watch, “I have a doctor’s appointment to finally get this thing off.” I raised my hand. “Why don’t we go out for dinner tomorrow? Like a double date.”
Nolan and Emily agreed to the dinner plans. I hugged them both, and when I was about to walk away, Emily asked me, “It’s William’s birthday today, right?”
“Um, yeah. It is.” Emily seemed genuinely oblivious about William and me. She wouldn’t have asked about him if she knew something. That meant Nolan had kept his promise to keep the things we’ve talked about secret from Emily. I couldn’t risk something like that leaking out, especially with how obsessed the tabloids were about anything regarding William’s personal life.
“If you see him, tell him I said happy birthday. I know he won’t remember me, but maybe he will,” she said with a grin.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Nolan said to Emily, rolling his eyes at her. “He obviously won’t remember you.”
I laughed. That was the William effect. As I said before, everyone loved him.
“William knows who you are.” I chuckled. “He knows Nolan’s a good friend of mine and that you’re Nolan’s girlfriend. He’s good at remembering people’s names and faces.” I frowned and looked away for a bit, remembering the bunch of times he’d asked about my friends, about school, about the things I liked. He was always so curious to know everything. “But … I haven’t seen him in a while. I think he might be filming or something. He’s been away.”
I didn’t want to give any details about him currently living in Sagaponack. Besides, I wasn’t even sure if he was still there. I never dared ask about him, and Lily never mentioned anything about him either.
Tobias would’ve probably told me everything about William without having to ask, but I hadn’t seen much of him either and I felt like he was still angry at me, probably avoiding me.
“But I’ll let him know if I see him,” I said, taking a few steps back. I needed to leave for my doctor’s appointment. “I’ll call you guys to set up a time and place for dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow!”
“Thanks, Billie!” Emily shouted as I walked away.
It was 5:50 p.m. when I walked up the short flight of stairs to St. Patrick’s Cathedral. Not only was it close to my apartment, but it was a beautiful architectural masterpiece that I hadn’t taken the time to visit until today.
Mass started at 6:00 p.m., and Nathan said he’d join me there since it was only a few blocks away from his office. We would meet my father for dinner afterward. I invited him to church, but he declined with a gracefully diplomatic reply.
As I sat there waiting for Nathan, I took my wrist splint off and made a few simple movements my doctor recommended. My wrist felt stiff and weak. It was the most uncomfortable feeling ever. It felt as if they had stuck it back together with glue.
I felt inclined not to use my right hand much, but the doctor said that the less I used it, the more time it would take to get the muscles around my wrist strong again. It could also get swollen if I kept it still all the time. He also suggested I go to physical therapy three times a week for a couple of months anyway.
The organ started playing, and the people attending mass all rose to their feet as the priest walked down the aisle. I checked my phone before standing up, and my notifications were empty—no sign of Nathan. I dropped my phone back into my purse and shook my head as I stood up.
Theone thingI asked of him. Show up.
I took a deep breath. It was 6:00 p.m. sharp. Maybe he was running a few minutes late, and I’d be okay with that. But that wasn’t the case.
6:45 p.m. The priest gave the final blessing, and still no sign of Nathan. He couldn’t even text me to say he wasn’t showing up. I swallowed hard and concentrated on my breathing because I felt so small and alone in this massive cathedral. And I didn’t deserve to feel this way. Not when Caleb would’ve been sitting next to me, no questions asked.
Am I on my own now?
It sure did feel that way as I sat there in silence looking at how people shuffled out in a smooth, orderly fashion.
6:50 p.m. I left.
Aaron opened the SUV’s door for me. David, who was behind the wheel, looked over his shoulder and nodded once in my direction with a sympathetic look on his face. Aaron walked around the car and sat beside me instead of in the passenger seat next to David.
“Let’s go,” Aaron said to David in a deep voice. He then looked at me with a solemn expression on his face, his indigo blue eyes almost gray and lifeless with obvious pain. He held his palms up and wiggled his fingers back and forth between us. I scooted over next to him and settled my face on his chest, where I allowed his arms to wrap around me.
I cried my heart and soul out all the way to the restaurant.
Saunders & Murphy
MY FATHER WAITEDat our table with a drink in his hand when I arrived alone to meet him. I didn’t care to edit myself in front of him or try to hide the fact that I’d been crying. Let him feel the discomfort of it. I was done concealing my emotions to make others feel good about themselves.
