Page 87 of Awestruck at Dusk
Lily replied when I was about to jump into the shower, so I turned off the water and threw my robe on. I hadn’t told Lily anything about my last conversation with William and how I heard him and Zara having sex afterward. I couldn’t risk her telling Joel, and if Nathan found out that I kept that information from him … It was best not to dwell on that thought.
Lily:Oh, my GOD! I had no idea that’s what we were going to send you. Billy told us that Alice would take care of it. They are sooooo beautiful! I would’ve loved to go down to your apartment and see them, but I’m in LA. I couldn’t make it to the cottage. They’re celebrating Billy’s birthday over there.
Me:I know, right? My apartment smells delicious. Thank you again. I’ll see you when you get back. I’m sure they’re having a great time over there.
Lily:Have you recently spoken to Billy?
Me:No. I haven’t. I mean, I just texted him to thank him and wish him a happy birthday. But I haven’t talked to him since my birthday. I didn’t even know if he was in the US or not. He just disappeared.
Lily:Do you miss him?
Me:Lily!
Lily:Billie, come on. You know you can trust me. I feel like something happened, and Joel won’t tell me much. But I just want to see if you’re okay. I know Billy cares a lot about you, but I found it weird that he would leave like that. He did mention something to Joel about wanting to sell the apartment, but Joel convinced him not to because that’s insane.
What! Sell the apartment? It was so frustrating to know he wanted to sell it just to avoid seeing me again. And his entire family lived here. He shouldn’t have to sell his apartment because of me.
Me:I’m okay. And I’m sure he is too.
Lily:I don’t think he is when he’s considering selling his apartment. You know I wouldn’t tell Joel a thing. I never have. I’ll delete these texts after we’re done talking, okay?
Damn it.
I told her what happened on my birthday. About how my conversations with William had been during the party. About Nemorino’s wine, and how I got into an argument with Nathan when her friend Lana sent him the photographs of William and me. How scared I was about losing him. And how I told William I had chosen Nathan. I left out the part about Zara and William having sex, though.
Lily:I’m going to KILL Lana.
Me:Don’t. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it since Nathan and I are okay. He blocked her already, so whatever.
Lily:Well, if Billy left, then it means he must be having a hard time after you talked.
Me:I don’t think he’s having such a hard time. Believe me.
Lily:How can you be so sure? Unless there’s something you’re not telling me.
Just remembering that William and Zara had sex made my stomach churn. I so desperately wanted to share that with Lily just to vent—to get her two cents on it. She had proven to me that I could trust her.
Lily:Billie?
Me:I’m 99.9999% sure William had sex with Zara.
Lily:WHAT!!!!!! Who told you this? How did you find out? I mean, they’ve always been close, but they insist on how they’re just friends all the time. I mean, Zara loves them all so much. They’ve known her since she was a baby. It took me a good while to trust her when I started dating Joel. She’s somehow always been in the picture.
Me:Well, I guess she’s gonna be stuck in the picture for a while longer.
Lily:How did you find out? Does Nathan know?
Me:I heard them, Lily. Well, I heard HER through the wall. Right after I talked to William, I showered and went to bed. I woke up a few hours later, and I heard her. They were having sex. There’s no doubt about it.
Me:And no. Nathan doesn’t know, and it’s been eating at me that I haven’t told him. I don’t know how he would react if he found out. But I’m also scared that he will be angry at me if he finds out later on that I knew about it and chose not to tell him.
Lily:He CAN’T know. I’m afraid to see what happens if Nathan finds out. I agree that it’s best not to tell him. Not right now. Especially when we’re not sure if they’re in a relationship or not.
Me:Okay. Then pleeeeeease don’t say a word to Joel about this. I don’t want Nathan to find out. And I don’t think they’re in a serious relationship because I’ve seen a bunch of paparazzi photos of him with different girls every time he goes out, which is very often.
Lily:I don’t want Nathan finding out either, so you’ve got nothing to worry about. And I guess you’re right. Joel mentioned how Billy’s been partying and drinking a lot lately, and he’s a bit worried. I feel like Billy might be doing it because he’s hurt about what happened between you.
Me:Well, now I’m worried too. I know it’s been almost two months since his surgery, but I don’t even know how he’s doing or if he’s been cleared to drink and party every other day.
