Page 98 of Awestruck at Dusk
The amount of energy I had to summon just to appear confident while talking would surely take a toll on me and earn me a spot in Juilliard’s drama program with Zara. But it was necessary because I felt like if I acted all jittery and nervous, it would only make the situation seem worse.
Nathan and I could discuss whatever happened that night in William’s room in private. I had nothing to hide becausenothinghappened other than kissing, and Nathan already knew that. Besides, it all happened before I even met him.
I still hadn’t dared to look in Zara’s direction, but she spoke next. “I’ll sleep with Eric,” she said, marching away toward the stairs.
Thank you.
Joel and Lily walked in carrying a bunch of grocery bags.
“Hey!” she said with the biggest smile, unaware of the drama she’d just walked into. She dropped the brown paper bags on the counter with a thud and approached Nathan for a hug. “There are more bags in the car. We could use some help.”
Nathan greeted Joel and immediately went out to help with the groceries. I followed him.
“Can we talk?” I whispered as we each carried a couple of bags.
“Sure.” He nodded once but didn’t look at me. I didn’t blame him. Not after William implied we had probably been intimate. In this house.
We left the bags on the kitchen counter and excused ourselves to our room.
Nathan shut the door behind him, dropped his bag on the floor, and went straight to the point. “Did you have sex with William?”
The phrase alone was mortifying and nerve-inducing, to say the least.
“No, I didn’t. We kissed. He offered me his room that night, and he slept here in the guest room. He’s just trying to mess with us. But I’m not going to be bullied into leaving. I know it’s technically his house, but Joel and Lily invited us, and he wasn’t supposed to be here. But if you want to leave, I’ve got no problem doing that.”
“Okay.” Nathan sighed. “We’re staying. I’m not leaving Zara alone with him. He’s a player, and I don’t want her to do something stupid she’ll regret later on,” he said matter-of-factly. If he only knew …
How I hated listening to Nathan call William a player.
Nathan closed the distance between us and pulled me in. “I’m goingnutsjust thinking about him kissing you”—he cupped my cheek and leaned in to kiss me—“in this house.”
I locked my arms around his neck and melted away in his arms. He laid me back on the bed, and his hands moved to my jeans, unzipping them as his lips met mine again. The thought of having sex with Nathan in William’s house felt off, especially when he was outside, mere feet away from our door, cooking in the kitchen.
But I couldn’t make myself care. I missed Nathan, and I wanted to reassure him. He was jealous, and I didn’t want him to be.
Another part of me was furious at William for saying that in front of Zara and Nathan. I was having trouble shaking the feeling off, and then someone knocked on our door.
Nathan cursed under his breath and threw himself on the bed beside me as I shot up from the bed, pulling my jeans back up. I rushed to open the door, and it was Lily. She needed help setting a few things up, and I told her I’d be right out.
“We should get ready,” I said to Nathan, shutting the door. “Lily needs help.”
“You’re right. I’m going to take a quick shower,” he replied. He gave me one last peck on the lips and disappeared into the bathroom. I opened the closet and pulled my dress out.
It had a high, round neckline with intricate lace design all over the beautiful white fabric. The somewhat flared sleeves went up to my elbows. It was fitted at the waist, and the straight skirt fell right up to my ankles. Lily helped me in selecting this dress.
She also asked me to bring comfortable shoes since we would do the frog dance around the maypole and other silly games and dances in the garden. So I paired my outfit with lilac low-heeled wedge espadrilles.
My hair was down since I didn’t have a lot to play around with it. And I didn’t have Mimi with me to have her braid my hair. It wasn’t as short now. It fell right under my clavicles, but I felt more like myself with long hair.
I applied apricot-colored blush, mascara, and a peachy gloss when Nathan stepped out of the bathroom with a towel tied around his waist.
“Oh, wow, you—God, you look stunning.” Nathan eyed me from head to toe and extended his hand to touch my dress. He kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear, “I love seeing you dressed in white. It makes my imagination run wild.”
My heart ricocheted against my ribcage. I never knew what to say to Nathan’s marriage insinuations, so I always smiled as a response. And I knew the normal thing would’ve been to feel giddy about it, but it always made me panic—an inner battle of wanting so bad to feel excited about it but feeling guilty because I didn’t.
“Well, that towel looks great on you,” I said with a nervous laugh that was triggered more by his previous statement and less by the fact that his body was on full display and lookedamazing. Well, maybe a little bit of both.
“You better leave this room then, before I decide to toss the towel and remove that pretty dress off your shoulders,” Nathan replied, pulling me against his bare chest. “Not that I’m not doing that later tonight anyway.”
