Page 2 of Caleb
I don’t tell her that either.
She’s unruly. I tighten my grip on her, knowing perfectly well that I’m not hurting her. I know how she likes to be handled. A gentle moan escapes her lips.There you go. My gaze sweeps over her big brown eyes, her full parted lips, the pounding vein against her soft neck, her prominent collar bones, and her pebbled nipples almost grazing my skin.
Breathe.
Noa’s chest is heaving, and so is mine. She knows what buttons to push and how and when to get me fired up. But I know her better than I’ve allowed her to know me. That, too, was a mistake. To have allowed whateverthisis to get this far. I don’t want to hurt her. I really don’t.
Pulling Noa closer to me, I bend her over the kitchen counter, because who am I kidding? It’s the only thing I’ve been thinking about doing for the past five to eight excruciating minutes. And I admit to being greedy. That is one of the many sins God will hopefully forgive me for the day I die.
Grabbing Noa’s hair in my fist, I arch her neck slightly to say what I say every single time before I have her. “This is thelasttime.”
Thought-Terminating Clichés
MY PHONE RINGS INSIDE MY JACKET POCKET, but my hands are busy pulling a net full of tilapia from the water. So I let it go to voicemail.
It rings again.
“You need to take that?” Ezra says once we drop the net on the shore. I shrug and brush the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand. “Take it. Ari and I will get these sorted out.”
Flipping the phone open, I see it’s my mother calling. And I think I know why. No, Iknowwhy.
— “Ma?”
— “Caleb? Are you in Ein Gev?”
— “Yes, I’m here. Working, actually. What’s up?”
— “Levi called me earlier telling me how you’re late again.”
— “I know I was late, but I’m here now. And I’m busy.”
— “I know you’ve been … struggling after what happened. But Levi was kind enough to let you volunteer while you’re on leave. So just try to respect the rules. His rules.”
— “I know. I will.”
— “He’s not happy about you arriving with Noa either. He’s worried.”
— “There’s nothing to be worried about.”
— “She’s a sweet girl, son. Be careful. And please, just … don’t be late again, okay? And follow Levi’s rules.”
I sigh and scratch the back of my head.
— “It won’t happen again.”
— “Okay. See you for Shabbat?”
— “I’ll be there on Friday before dinner.”
— “I love you.”
— “Love you too, Ma.”
“All good?” Ezra asks with a raised brow as I stare blankly at my phone’s screen.
“Mmm.” I put my phone away and help Ezra and Ari finish sorting out the fish in absentminded mode. I need to get my shit together. I can’t blow it. There are still about two months left on my temporary military leave. After that, I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to go back to my old life, but I’ve no other choice.
I was done with the mandatory military service a few months ago, but I was told they were offering me a permanent contract in the army. So right now, I’m still getting paid, which means that maintaining this volunteering job is vital to please my mother and keep myself occupied.
