Page 22 of Lovestruck at Sundown
“I know Mom’s death was an accident,” I blurted out. My elbows rested on my knees as I covered my face with my hands. Fighting the whiplash of emotional turmoil and sleep deprivation was getting harder by the minute. But it was now or never. This matter between my father and me needed to be resolved. And I needed to make my demands known. “I know she was mistaken for someone else. And for six years you’ve lied to me about this, and God knows what else. I wonder what else Caleb left out of that letter.”
He stared at me and wet his lips.
My hands were shaking. I would’ve killed for a cigarette.
“What do you want?” he asked again, the icy calmness in his voice freaking me out. He was a diplomat. He had years of experience in reeling in his emotions, of perfecting the way he was perceived. Of lying and omitting in a way that came out as polite.
“I want to live a normal life without security. I want to go back to my apartment and carry on with my life, my studies, my internship, and my relationship with William. I want—”
“He’s not right foryou.”
“I’m not done yet. I—”
“You cannot date a celebrity,” he interrupted me again. “Especially not one as high-profile as him.”
“Please, just let me finish.”
“I’m trying to save you from the inevitable heartbreak that will ensue if you choose to ignore my counsel and pursue this. You won’t be able to deal with the pressure that comes with having your private life exposed to the media.”
“Dad, please.”
“Not even I can protect you from them! They don’t play fair. The tabloids feed people lies and eat lawsuits for lunch. They are the silent predator that sneaks up on you and strikes when you least expect it. I know you, kiddo,” he said, softening his tone. “You won’t be able to stomach what’s coming for you.”
“I want you to apologize!” I choked on a sob, and the stress of it all bent me over for a moment. My stomach felt hot and knotted. The disappointment of seeing my father for who he was for the first time in my life was painful and hard to digest. “You … lied to me. You said you didn’t know anything, that you didn’t know who killed her and why. You made it seem like I was in danger and kept me in the dark and legally bound everyone around you to lie on your behalf!” A pause dangled in the air between us. “Why?”
“You need to understand. I was trying to keep you safe. I secured a deal with the government to guarantee nothing like that would happen to you. Ever. I had to take it.”
I know all about it. Caleb mentioned it in his letter. But my father said it as if I should’ve been thankful for his decision.
“And look what happened with Thomas,” he added casually. But bringing up the day of the shooting was a low blow. Even for him. My nightmares hadn’t ceased, even if they were becoming more sporadic. “If it weren’t for Aaron and Caleb showing up, maybe you and William would’ve ended up … dead.”
The thought of losing William that day still haunted me, even if I did a great job hiding it. But my father had touched a nerve, and something told me he wasn’t unaware of it.
My anxiety was spiking.
“Ultimately, having security that day is the reason why you’re still alive,” he pressed.
“Well, what’s the point in keeping me alive if you don’t let me live?”
My statement gave him pause, and he remained silent for a change. He stared back at me, allowing me to keep unloading on him.
“And you still can’t apologize,” I continued, the disappointment snaking up my chest. “Why are you so proud? Why do you keep choosing to make this about yourself when I’m sitting in front of you, letting you know all the ways in which you’ve hurt me? All the ways in which you continue to do so. How do you not care?”
“I lied to protect you. You wouldn’t have accepted your security if you thought it was unnecessary. But time proved me right,” he said, clicking his tongue proudly. “And now you want to date William Sjöberg, of all people. So what makes you think it’s safe for you to walk around New York alone when you’ll have all eyes on you, prying on your every move? Waiting for you to do something that might seem wrong or out of line so they can twist it in their favor and get rich at your relationship’s expense? You were hurt the other day by a paparazzi just by associating yourself with his brother’s girlfriend.”
“I love William. And he loves me. He will keep me safe.”
He laughed a harsh, derisive laugh under his breath.
“He’s willing to do the things Nathan never dared to do because he was too busy trying to win your favor.” That’s right. I knew he still fantasized about me getting back together withNathan. I’d loved him so much when we were together, and still did but in a different way. But this wasn’t about trashing him. I respected him. But I wanted to make a point about how William was the man I wanted to be with, even if he disagreed. Even if he thought I wouldn’t be able to endure it. I didn’t know if I would either, but I knew I wanted to find out for myself.
“William lets me be me,” I continued. “He wants me to live the lifeIwant to live.”
“Enough.” Clearing his throat, he stood and walked toward the credenza. He grabbed a manila folder and brought it back with him. “This,” he said, dropping the folder on the coffee table and sliding it toward me, “is my new proposal.”
I opened the folder and squinted at the pages. The letters were blurry to me. My eyelids felt heavy with every blink. It was impossible for me to read this. At least not at five in the freaking morning with puffy eyes from all the crying.
“Care to walk me through it?”
