Page 65 of Break Point
It feels naive to claim I know what I want, especially since I only realized last night, while drunk, that my heart is leaning toward Henry. How can I trust myself to understand anything clearly?
All I know is I can’t keep hurting Liam. Letting this emotional confusion linger will only make things worse.
“I know I don’t want to hurt you. And I already have, more than a few times. But please believe me when I say it was never my intention. You need to know that. I’m the one who hasn’t been able to get my ducks in a row or my feelings in check. And ever since Henry came back to New York, everything’s been a mess in my head.”
“I’m done, Belén,” he says, resting his elbows on his knees and taking his hands to his face to rub it a few times. This doesn’t feel like the many times we’ve argued in the past where we “ended things.” No. In the weight and pain of his voice, I can hear how serious he is about it this time, and I don’t blame him. The trust is broken, and I can’t be in a relationship with him anymore after what happened. I’m sure he can’t either.
I was already halfway out. I just didn’t close the door soon enough.
A selfish and immature part of me wants to drop to my knees and beg him to forgive me, to give us one more shot. But I can’t. Not when Henry’s still on my mind. That kiss. Those lips. Those eyes. That heart I’ve loved and trusted since I was a kid. And deep down, I know asking Liam to stay would only be a way to avoid the pain of losing him. Of admitting it’s really over. Because Iwillmiss him. And itwillhurt. But wanting to stop the hurt isn’t the same as wanting him back.
It’s time to grow up.
Liam wets his lips and meets my gaze with a newfound intensity that makes me inch backward. “How long has this been happening behind my back? I need to know.”
“Since last night,” I say quickly. I don’t want him to think there’s been something ongoing with Henry because there hasn’t been. “I was drunk, sad, and conflicted, and we kissed. I’ve known Henry my whole life. He used to be my best friend before he left, and ever since he came back, we’ve been trying to figure out our friendship. And it hasn’t been easy.” I pause to breathe. “I’m so sorry, Liam. I really am. But I promise you, he’s beennothing but respectful and professional since becoming my coach. And so have I.”
“Until last night.” Liam lets out a sarcastic chuckle that screamsI’m so fucking done with your shit, and again, I don’t blame him. He stands to grab his socks and shoes, then sits on the padded bench by the bed to put them on.
“Until last night,” I echo, letting my head hang for a few seconds because I cannot stop feeling like shit. “We crossed a line. And we shouldn’t have. I take full responsibility.”
I’ve failed him. Failed myself. And there’s nothing I hate more than the feeling of giving it your all and still not doing the right thing.
“I never meant to hurt you.” The words spill from the bottom of my heart. They’re true. But I know now I wasn’t giving it my all. The fact that I convinced myself I was doesn’t make it any less wrong. I wasn’t fully there with Liam. My mind was always bouncing between a million other things. It had nothing to do with Henry. I’ve felt like this even before he came back. But him reappearing the way he did wasn’t helpful.
Liam nods a few times. There’s nothing much left to say. I wasn’t as invested in the relationship as he was, and I ended up hurting him. It’s all on me.
In the thick silence that follows, he stands to grab his phone and wallet from the nightstand. His eyes sweep the room, like he’s making sure he’s not leaving anything behind, including whatever dignity he has left after this. He slips both items into his pockets and walks toward the door.
“Can I walk you out?” I ask before he crosses the threshold.
He glances over his shoulder and nods. I look down and realize I’m still only wearing a T-shirt, so I grab my phone and the pajama bottoms Gemma left out for me last night and pull them on. I hurry after Liam, who’s already halfway down the hall.
As we’re walking down the stairs, Gemma’s laughter fills the room. I lean on the railing to see her sitting in the living room with Tobias. Both of them sipping on green juice. Gemma’s still wearing her pajamas.
The doorbell rings as I take the final step on the staircase. I look at my phone screen and it’s 8:00 a.m. sharp. My blood drops to my feet knowing that Henry’s probably behind that door. I don’t want there to be any more drama.
Gemma jumps up to her feet and sees to the door, but it’s not Henry.
“Morning, Gemma,” Robbie says with a frown, giving her a quick once-over. Gemma returns the greeting as he steps inside, carrying a small bag. “Hey, man!” Robbie walks over to Liam and gives him a brotherly hug. Tobias appears from the living room, sipping his green juice. Robbie snorts at the sight of him.
“Robbie, this is Tobias. Tobias, this is Robbie, Belén’s brother,” Liam says. Tobias grins and holds out his hand, which Robbie shakes with a tight smile. “And this is Belén.”
“Hey,” I say, exchanging nods when all I can think about is crawling back to Gemma’s bed. I’m sure I look like I’ve been run over by a school bus, but it doesn’t matter anymore. It's not like I’m not going to see Tobias again anytime soon, so I don’t care if I make a good first impression or not.
“This is yours,” Robbie says, handing me the bag. “Clothes and such. For your tennis practice. Henry’s waiting for you at the country club.”
The simple mention of Henry’s name in front of Liam makes my stomach twist into knots. It must be painful for Liam to know that I’ll keep seeing Henry every day, especially today after what happened.
“Let’s go,” Liam says to Tobias after I take the bag. Thinking about getting dressed for practice makes me want to puke.
“Tony’s waiting outside,” Robbie adds. I glance out the massive floor-to-ceiling window and spot our white Suburban parked right behind a stunning black Porsche. “Why don’t you go get ready while I talk to Gemma.”
I nod, too drained to argue with Robbie’s bossy tone. He probably wants Gemma to fill in the blanks about last night. But she’s already lifting a brow and crossing her arms at her chest in a defiant way, clearly annoyed with his attitude. And I can’t help but wonder what Robbie wants to talk to Gemma about.
“It was nice meeting you guys,” Tobias says. The tension in the room is palpable. You don’t have to be a genius to notice that things are tense between Liam and me. “Thank you for the hospitality.”
“Of course,” Gemma says with a grin, shyly tucking her hair behind her ear.
