Page 51 of Break Point
“I’m on my fucking knees. Begging you to forgive me.”
He tilts my chin until our eyes meet.
“I was a stupid kid. I was hurting and scared. And I thought pushing you away would protect you. I figured if you stayed mad at me, it’d hurt less for both of us. Or that you’d forget me altogether.”
For a long moment, all I can hear is the sound of our out-of-sync breaths as he allows his words to sink into my brain for the tenth time and make sense of his reasons once and for all. I get why he did what he did. I do, but there’s a thorn in my foot that I can’t shake out no matter how hard I try.
I sigh.
“What if my dad hadn’t called?” I muse. “Would you have sought me out eventually? Or would you still be in Chicago, living your life and not talking to me?”
His jaw muscle clicks in reply, and a subtle pop echoes through his clenched teeth.
“So besides my dad offering you a shit ton of money to do this for him, why don’t you tell me the real reason why you’re here?”
For you, I wish he would say.I’m here because of you.
But he doesn’t say it, and I shouldn’t have the inexplicable urge for him to do so. He doesn’t say anything, which says it all. Instead, he stares back at me, eyes tortured with feeling.
“You’re just here for the money,” I scoff, letting out a humorless laugh.
The corners of my lips twitch into the saddest smile in the world, not wanting to believe it but not blaming him either for allowing himself to be enticed by my dad’s Trainer Starter Pack Deal.
Henry’s family had struggled so much financially that when he saw the opportunity to turn things around, he couldn’t pass it up.
“So why don’t I write you a check for whatever amount you’re looking to make out of this, and let’s stop pretending you actually care.”
Breaking away from his grasp, I push myself up from the bed to grab my phone from my nightstand, unplugging the cord with unnecessary force.
“That’s not what this is.” Henry jumps to his feet in a graceful, powerful, feline manner. “That’s not why I’m here.” His mouth twitches again, and I could laugh at the irony if it weren’t for the fact that the disappointment is threatening to swallow me whole.
“Once my dad finds someone else, you’ll go back to whatever plans you made for your life, and I’ll carry on with mine. So how much?”
You’ll leave me again, and we’ll inevitably drift further apart.
“Stop trying to throw money at your problems.” He chuckles in a way that lets me know I might be driving him crazy. He’s been teasing me about this since I offered to pay him to get back into tennis. It doesn’t work this time.
Instead, I click on Gemma’s contact, hold my phone to my ear, and run a hand down my face. A desperate need to leave the house invades me.
“Come on, Bells,” he says, serious this time, taking a few steps my way and closing the distance between us. “I know you’re pissed and tired, but I’m sure I can help you with that. Stay. You aren’t escaping to Gemma’s, are you?”
He could potentially help me feel better; he always could. But I’m way past the pissed-off line. I’m sad and disappointed to realize Henry was doing great without me and wouldn’t have come back if he didn’t need the money. But mostly, I’m heartbroken to the point that I’m having trouble breathing because my mom’s words keep reverberating inside my head.
An unwanted baby will ruin your career forever. Trust me.
Henry leans against the wall and drags a hand through his hair, which is beyond sexy and unruly tonight. I would’ve teased him about it to break the tension and messed up his hair to make it look crazy if I didn’t feel like my chest was about to rip itself in half.
Clearing my throat, I take a deep breath and brush the tears off my cheeks when I hear Gemma’s voice on the line.
“Gemms? … Yes, I’m back … No, everything’s okay … Can I come over? … I don’t think that’s a good idea … Because I’m exhausted and don’t have anything nice to wear … I know, but I just want to hang out if that’s okay … Sounds good … Could you send Vladimir to pick me up? Tony’s driving my parents tonight … Okay, I’ll meet him outside in a few minutes … Thanks, bye.”
“She wants you to go to the party with her, doesn’t she?” Henry asks in a dull tone, as if he were expecting it from Gemma.
“It doesn’t matter because I’m not going,” I say, shuffling around the room as I gather my things to stuff them inside a small bag.
“You’re really leaving?” Henry thought I would stay and watch my tapes as I always do. It’s a mandatory ritual, and he knows it. I’m methodical about these things, or I used to be. But right now, everything feels chaotic, like I’m no longer in control of myself.
“I am,” I say, walking past him. “I have to.”
