Page 73 of Break Point
“So … you went back to the party?” I finally dare to ask, searching for his gaze and failing to find it.
Henry clears his throat and drains his coffee. As he sets his cup down, Bobby passes by, and Henry catches his attention. “Can I get a refill?”
Bobby nods and pours. “Thank you,” Henry says, offering a small smile.
“More for you?” Bobby asks, lifting the pot toward me. I shake my head no and thank him.
The moment Bobby steps away, I press again, trying to keep my curiosity casual. “Where’d you go, then?”
“For a walk. A long one.” Henry lets out a deep, loaded sigh. “I needed to breathe, okay?”
I nod a few times, but frustration knots in my chest. He’s dodging every single question, and I can’t deal. I’m seconds away from crying or yelling. I’m not even sure which, but I know I can’t lose him again.
“Did your brain get over-oxygenated to the point that you forgot we kissed last night?” I ask bluntly, patting my mouth with my napkin. If pressing his buttons is the only way to get him to talk, then so be it. “Or are we going to pretend it never happened?”
I don’t want our friendship to suffer because of this when it’s already been hanging by a thread since his return. But what would pretending it never happened mean to him? That he regrets it? That I imagined it?
Drew slips back into his seat with a grin. It’s a happy, dollar-sign kind of day for him after the Neel Ultex news.
“The latter,” Henry replies, flashing a fake little smile before lifting his cup to his lips.
¡Necio!
1 It’s a beautifully layered word that doesn’t have a perfect one-to-one translation, but in this context it’s something close to: Stubborn pain in the ass.
CHAPTER 18
K
OCTOBER 12, 2010
Henry gaveme two days off to recover before we leave for the Kremlin Cup in Moscow. It’s my last event of the season, so I’ve spent these past few days with Miss Annie, catching up with school and getting a daily well-deserved sports massage with my physical therapist. That’s helped get my mind off my conflicting feelings for Henry and my breakup with Liam. It still tugs at my heart so bad.
It’s been a struggle not to slip back into the familiar, toxic rhythm Liam and I had fallen into for nearly ten months. The constant breaking up and making up. But this time feels different. Final.
The sadness comes in waves, each one reminding me of what we had and how hard it is to let go. I keep biting it back and reeling it in, because deep down, I know this is the right thing. Still, that doesn’t change how much I love and care about him. Or how much I’m going to miss him. My heart knows it.
Having Henry around all the time has proven to be a delicate kind of torture. Trying to decipher my feelings for him and battling the urge to sit next to him and talk about anything takes up most of my day. I know I need to give him some space to forget about seeing me drunk at the party.
To forget about our kiss.
I know I’ve tried and failed to pretend it didn’t happen.
The China Open wrecked my confidence, but I’ve been holding on to the incredible feeling of knowing Neel Ultex wants me back. It’s made me realize I should appreciate the good things I’ve accomplished in my tennis career and how lucky I am to have such a solid support system behind me, sponsors included. I’ll never take that for granted again.
I’ll be good and do my best to set an example for young players while enjoying myself in the process.
Henry seems to be enjoying his time off, too. He’s spent it reading his novels around the apartment, going for long runs, and hitting the gym—a convenient way to ignore me.
As I struggle through my calculus homework on the phone with Miss Annie because I am not in the right headspace to understandshit, Henry walks into the apartment, drenched in sweat. Robbie trails behind him, his face blotchy and red.
“Thanks for the workout, man,” Robbie says, patting Henry’s back. “Hey, Carmen!”
She greets him back, and he jerks his chin at me before disappearing into his bedroom.
Robbie’s been acting weird since last Saturday. I already asked Gemma what he wanted to talk to her about when he picked me up from her place, but she said it was just a few questions about her dad’s company since he’s planning to apply for the internship soon.
Knowing Robbie, he’s overstressing about it.
