Page 140 of Veinblood
“Does it change things?” the question comes out before I can stop it.
“What do you think it changes?”
I gesture helplessly at the carnage around us. At the blood on my hands, the destroyed remains that once mocked her.
“I didn't just kill him, Ellie. I tore him apart because he dared speak about you that way. Because some part of me has been waiting for an excuse to do exactly what I just did.”
Her eyes search my face, taking in every detail of what I've become in this place.
“He tortured you for days. He's tortured countless others in this room. And when he was facing death, his first instinct was to try to hurt me to get to you.” She reaches up, her fingers tracing the line of my jaw, leaving small smears of blood on her fingers. “I'm glad you tore him apart. I'm glad he felt every second of it.”
“You're not afraid of me?”
“I'm afraidforyou.” Her voice is soft, her hands steady andwarm against my face. “I'm afraid of how much pain you've carried. I'm afraid of how long you've needed this and didn't have it. But afraid of you? Never.”
“Even after seeing that?”
“Especially after seeing that.” Her hands frame my face, holding my gaze. “Do you know what I saw when you lost control?”
I shake my head.
“I saw someone who would burn the world down before letting it hurt me. I saw someone who loves me enough to become a monster for me.” Her thumbs stroke across my cheekbones. “That doesn't scare me, Sacha. That makes me feel safer than I've ever felt in my life.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
ELLIE
“Every ending is a door. Not all who reach it have the courage to open it.”
Veinwarden Prayers
We don’t speakat all on the way back. Sacha seems wrapped up in his own thoughts, and I keep one eye on him as we walk. I’ve seen him kill before, many times, but this particular death has touched him differently. I know what it is. He didn't kill to protect me or the people with us. He didn't kill because our lives hung in the balance.
This was personal, and even though he won’t ever admit it, it bothers him.
Shadows rise and surround us when we get close to Ashenvale, hiding us from the guards on the gates and anyone who might be out at this hour, and we slip back into the Lirien Spire unnoticed. He holds the concealment until we reach our quarters.
Inside, he walks through the room and into the bedchamber, where he stops. His hands hang at his sides, dark with dried blood. His shirt bears wet patches of even darker stains, andthere are things clinging to his hair that I really don’t want to examine too closely.
“I should clean this off.” His voice barely carries across the room.
I glance over at the washbasin in the corner. It might hold enough water to rinse away the blood from his face, but nothing more. “I don’t think the water in the basin will be enough for all of that.”
He gives a shallow nod, but doesn’t move.
“Stay here. I’ll go and arrange for a proper bath to be brought up.”
I step back out into the hallway and walk to the end where the stairs lead down to the next level. At the bottom, two guards stand, assigned by Varam to stop anyone disturbing us when we’re in our quarters.
They straighten when they see me, eyes immediately going to the blood spatters on my face.
“I need a bath tub brought to our chambers immediately. And hot water. Lots of it.”
“My Lady?”
“No one is hurt. The Vareth’el had something he needed to do. You didn’t see us leave, but now we need to clean up.”
The second guard nods. “How much water do you need?”
