Page 117 of Ghosts Don't Cry
“It’s not your choice to make.” I move deeper into the room. “Not anymore. If you ever cared for me at all, you’ll tell me. What really happened, Ronan?”
Even if the truth destroys everything I thought I knew about us. I need to know.
Chapter Forty-Seven
RONAN
“No.”The word is clipped.Final. “We’re not doing this.”
Everything in me is telling me to walk out, get away before she strips back the defenses I’ve spent most of my life building.
“Ronan.”
“What do you want from me, Lily?” I shove to my feet and turn away, needing to avoid the way she’s looking at me. “You want me to tell you that everything is fine? How when I got out, my life worked out? Do you want me to tell you that prison fixed everything?”
“I want you to tell me the truth.”
The laugh that breaks free is discordant and harsh. “Thetruth?When has the truth ever fucking fixed anything?”
“When have lies?”
She wields words like arrows, each one hitting its mark. I stare out of the window, looking anywhere but at her.
“Go home, Lily.” I sound like I’m in control.
“No.” One word. Sharp as a blade. “You don’t get to dismiss me again. Not this time.”
“What do you think knowing will change?” I spin to face her, and release the anger coursing through me, because it’seasier than everything else churning inside. “Do you really think understanding will make it better? Make it hurt less? Or make any of this okay?”
“I think I deserve to know the real reason you pushed me away.” Her voice wavers before she catches herself. “Why you made me think none of it was real, and why you wouldn’t even look at me in the courtroom.”
“Because looking at you would have fucking killed me!” My shout echoes off the walls.
Silence falls between us. She stares at me, eyes wide. I squeeze my eyes shut, but it’s too late to take the words back.
“What happened?” The sound of her footsteps warns me of her approach. “Something changed before I left that week.Youchanged the last week of school before Christmas vacation. Please, Ronan. Tell me what happened.”
“Don’t.” But it’s too late, because the walls are already crumbling.
“Tell me.”
My eyes snap open. “You want to know? Do youreallywant to know, Lily?” Fury rises. “Fine. When I’m done, don’t say I didn’t fucking give you a chance to walk away.” I hold her gaze, forcing myself not to look away. “Do you remember that day I was supposed to meet you in the library? I stayed at the end of the aisle, and told you I had things to do. Do you remember that? The reason I didn’t stay is because Dan Hartman and his offensive line caught me before I got there. They dragged me into the locker room, and then six of them held me in place while Dan proved how much this town hated having garbage like me in their school.”
I see her chest freeze mid-inhale.
This is something I swore I’d never let her find out.
“They knew exactly where to hit.” I press my hand against my side, where the worst of the damage was. “Football playersunderstand body mechanics pretty well. Ribs. Kidneys. Liver. Dan knew how to use his fists. He punched me until I felt something crack. They broke my ribs, and punctured something inside.” My voice drops lower, remembering. “It was bad. The kind of bad that needs hospitals.”
“Why didn’t you?—”
“What? Get help?” My voice is cold, sharper than a knife’s edge. “You think I should have walked into the emergency room and explained how their school’s star quarterback decided to work me over? Let them start asking questions about who I was? Where I came from? Who they should call?”
Understanding dawns in her eyes. Horror follows it.
“You want more truth, or is that enough?” I don’t wait for her to reply. “Everything about me was forged. Every piece of paper. Every document. My entire fucking existence here was built on lies. The only thing that was real is my name.”
She takes a step back, a hand going to her throat. “What?”
