Page 109 of Nailing Heat
“Okay,” Mac says, sounding defeated.
“Can we talk about something else, please?” I beg them.
“Sure, anything you want to talk about. We’re here for it,” Cassie agrees immediately.
“Danny still gone?” I ask Mac, trying to quickly change the subject. He’s been out of town at a swimming invitational that will last for a few days.
“Yeah,” she nods. “But he comes home tomorrow, so that’s good. I miss having him around all the time. I think I liked it more before August got him a job. You know, when he was sitting at home waiting for me.”
I laugh and say, “I’m sure. But it’s nice that he’s doing something that he loves.”
“It is,” she agrees. “I miss having him around a lot of the time.”
I nod. I get that feeling. My relationship with Dex surely didn’t work out, but I miss having him around too. I have no idea how Hendrix and August do it, I don’t know in what universe I would be okay with having Dex around me like that. I think I’d be too tempted to scream at him. Or worse, take him back.
“Let’s watch some reality TV. That always puts us in a good mood,” Cassie suggests, picking up the remote and looking, flipping through channels. She settles for someLove Island, and we all fall into a rhythm of watching and commenting on the show.
After some time, we’re all done chowing down on pizza and drinking beer. Cassie and Mac fall asleep, leaving Hendrix and me awake.
She turns to me and says, “You really miss him, don’t you?”
I nod. “I thought he was different, you know? Thought he was a safe place to fall.”
“He still could be that,” she suggests.
“I thought you were so sure that he was just like August and that I shouldn’t bother,” I remind her.
“That might be my issue with August and not related to you and Dex,” she says with a shrug. “Has he tried reaching out to you?”
I play with end of my ponytail. “At first I got a few calls from him, but I never picked them up. I guess he got the hint and gave up.”
“You could callhim,” she suggests.
“And say what?”
“What do youwantto say? If you want him to call, surely you have a reason for it. So, if he called you right now, what would you want to ask him?”
I stare at Hendrix for a moment and decide she makes a good point. I sigh and say, “I would ask him if any of it was real. Or is that what he did with the women that he cheated with.” I look down and feel the pain of my words when I add. “Did he really love me?”
She nods and moves over so that we’re sitting next to each other. Hendrix puts her arm around me and pulls me to her. “I think that it was real, Amelia. I really believe that. I saw you two together. We all did.” She gestures towards Mac and Cassie’s sleeping forms. “And we all knew that he really cared about you.”
“Yeah, well, what are you going to do?” I say, brushing off her assessment.
“You could always talk to him. That might help things,” she suggests.
I shake my head. “Nah, I think I’ll stick to this plan.”
“And what plan is that? Wallowing?” She bumps my shoulder, teasing me.
“No, I’m not wallowing, I’m spending time with my girls. Maybe that is all I need,” I tell her. Shrugging, I add, “It worked for a while. Why can’t it keep on working?”
“It can, if that is what you really want,” Hendrix replies. “Maybe take some time and think about it. See how you feel. But Amelia, I wouldn’t take too long because I wouldn’t want you to end up like I did and realize you should have fought. And then it’s too late.”
I look over and watch her for a moment. The flicker of theTV throws a soft light on her face. There is a distant look in her eyes, like he’s feeling the pain of remembering something - or someone - from a great distance.
“Thanks, Hen, I won’t.” I squeeze her hand. “And I’m sure it’s not easy hanging around August all the time. That can’t be easy for you.”
She shakes her head, and whispers. “That was a long time ago.”
