Page 44 of Stone Deep
“We’re going out on Stewie’s boat.” I grabbed my shirt off the arm of the couch and pulled it on.
“Shit, that floating deathtrap? Supposed to be a storm later,” Hunter said.
“We’ll be back long before that.” Cleveland looked at me. “So, you going to tell them, or what?”
“Getting to it,” I said. “I got the greenhorn position up in Alaska this fall.”
“Nooo,” Amy said in her best whiny voice. She threw her arms around me and squeezed me. “You can’t. It’s too dangerous. Don’t want you to go.”
I turned my face to her. “You and Hunter will have the place to yourselves for two months. No couch mushrooms.”
She kissed my cheek and dropped her arms. “When do you leave?”
“Thought you might see the bonus side of me going. Even if I will be risking life and limb.”
Amy threw her arms around me again. “Nooo. Don’t say that. I’m already worried.”
Hunter sat down on the couch. “You’re sure about this?”
I nodded. “I am. In fact, I need this.”
TWENTY-FOUR
BRITTON
Ihung up the last picture, a picture my mom had snapped of Perris and me two winters ago when we’d traveled home together for the holidays. It had been our last trip together, and one I would never forget. I knew then that Perris was being dragged downhill fast by Damon, but we’d both agreed to not speak of Damon or Ryan for the entire trip. It had been the best six days ever. We went skiing, baked cookies with Mom and helped Dad pick out the perfect tree. It was a fun and carefree trip. Even though we both knew that we’d eventually be heading back to relationships that were hardly worth the effort, for those few days we were able to forget all the crap and reconnect as the two sisters who’d grown up inseparable.
Bolt wriggled around my ankles letting me know it was time for food. He approved of the new place. He no longer had to hide out all day in a dark motel room like some illegal contraband. He was free to roam the house, climb the curtains or even sit out on the back stoop overlooking our postage stamp yard if the urge to venture outside overcame him.
My phone rang. It was Mom. As much as I hated to do it, I’d finally broken down and asked my parents for a loan. Two days under the same roof with Ryan reminded me what a thoughtless boob he was and how badly I didn’t want to spend another minute of my life with him. I’d borrowed enough to put a deposit and first month’s rent on a small house. I used the rest of the money to start the divorce process. Ryan and I hadn’t accumulated much in our four years of marriage, so the lawyer told me it would be quick and easy. Aside from the major slice of heartbreak I felt about Slade, I finally felt like I was getting my life back on track. I’d also spent a long time on the phone with both parents talking about how Perris’s last days had sent her to eventually take the pills.
“Hey, Mom, how are you?”
“Good, Britty. Are you all moved in?”
“Yep, Bolt and I are doing great. Thanks again, Mom.”
“I’m just glad we could help.” She sighed sadly.
I sat on the stool at my kitchen counter. “What’s wrong? Is Dad all right?”
“He’s fine. A little indigestion but then who wouldn’t have that problem if they downed two chili dogs at the baseball game.” She said the last part loud enough, apparently, for my dad to hear. “I’m just feeling a little down. You know. It happens every once in awhile. I just keep thinking about when you girls were younger. You were always bubbly sunshine compared to Perris’s rainy day. I should have been more concerned about the difference. My gosh, you two were so alike even I occasionally had trouble telling you apart. But Perris was always more apt to cry or become upset. She was obviously struggling with depression.Guess I just didn’t want to accept it.”
“Mom, I was guilty of the same thing. No one was closer to Perris than me, but, honestly, during the last six months of her life, I was dealing with my own problems. And Perris was good at hiding a lot of what was happening in hers. What I do know is Perris would never want us to blame ourselves. So we’ve got to stop.”
Mom’s soft sniffles came through the phone. “I’m just glad you’re cutting yourself loose from Ryan. Britty, why don’t you come home? You’re all alone now.”
“Mom, I promise if I can’t make a go of it here on my own, I’ll come home. But I’ve got to try.”
“All right, dear. You’ll find someone again. Someone who you can be happy with.”
“Yeah, I will. Well, I’ve got to feed the cat. Give Dad a kiss for me. Bye.” I hung up. Bolt made an attempt to jump into my lap but fell short of the stool by several feet. I laughed. “Think you need a few more inches on those legs, cutie.”
I reached down and lifted the kitten into my lap. It took me back to the day that I’d found her. Slade had grabbed me from the rushing water just like he’d saved me from getting pummeled in a bar. There hadn’t been one minute with him that wasn’t memorable. He’d made me laugh. He’d made feel completely desirable. He’d made me feel safe. He was perfect, and I’d screwed it up by not being more open with him.
I carried Bolt to his bowl and filled it with food. I straightened and looked around at my tiny house. It was a place of my own, and for the first time in months, I felt like both my feet were on the ground. Happiness was longoverdue, and I was going to help it along.
I grabbed my keys and purse and headed out the door.
