Page 100 of Have a Bear-y Little Christmas
But I had to respect that she wasn’t there yet. That she wanted her space. It was difficult, incredibly difficult, but it would be wrong to make the situation about me.
“Hey there, Daddy,” Addy said, opening the car door and getting in.
“Hey there,” I said, putting my phone away.
“Hi, Daddy!”
“Hello, Eva.”
“Any news from Max?” Addy asked as we pulled away and filed into the exit line at their school. I wished I did have news for them.
“No, not yet.”
“We should just go over there,” Eva said with all the confidence that came from being eight and knowing how the whole world worked—orshouldwork.
“We can’t, dear,” I said wearily. The animal within me was pacing back and forth, grumbling at the idea that he couldn’t protect his mate. Stern reminders from me that we weren’t mates were met with the bear equivalent of a shrug. All it knew was that Jeannie needed help, and I wasn’t being allowed to help her.
“Why not?” Eva asked.
I wanted to explain it all in a way that would make her understand and make her feel better without her needing to ask me more questions, but that didn’t exist.
“I…”
We moved forward methodically, car by car, and my girls waited for my answer with wide eyes. I could feel the weight of their stares on me as we drew closer to the exit.
“I…”
They were so scared, and I was too. And the thing was, I could be stalwart if I knew Jeannie was okay, but the complete lack of communication had gotten in my head. What if she was hurt or sick? I knew she was used to having to do everything alone, but she promised me it wasn’t like that anymore.
But I supposed some habits were harder to break than others.
“Fuck it,” I said finally, flipping my blinker in the other direction.
“Daddy said a bad word!” Eva screeched.
“I did, and I’m sorry. But how would you two feel about putting together a care package and making a visit? We might only be able to say hi and not go in.”
“Yes. Yes, that would be fine,” Addy said fervently. “I just wanna make sure Max is okay.”
“All right then, let’s head to the grocery store and put together the best care package we can.”
“Yeah!”
Our care package ended up being a large laundry basket filled to the brim with supplies, some practical and some less so, butI carried it out of our van with false confidence, not wanting my daughters to pick up on my nerves.
“Eva, why don’t you go ahead and knock on the door?” I asked as we strolled up. Normally, I would never drop by somebody’s house without permission, but there was nothing that was normal about our situation.
“Yes, Daddy.”
Also, it was probably a bit cowardly of me, but I figured Jeannie would be less angry at seeing an eight-year-old girl’s happy smile. And if she didn’t answer... Well, we’d leave the laundry basket in the hiding spot she had for her packages, send her a picture of it, and wish her well.
But I hoped she would answer the door.
Those few seconds after Eva’s knocks were physically painful. When I heard footsteps approaching, relief shot through my entire nervous system. Confirmation that Jeannie was moving at all right now was a huge boon to me.
Luck was on my side, because next was the sound of a deadbolt unlocking and the knob turning, and then finally, I laid eyes on the woman I was dating for the first time in a month.
As attractive as I found Jeannie, as effortlessly beautiful as she naturally was, she lookedbad.
