Page 40 of Have a Bear-y Little Christmas
“Permission to join the conversation?” Addy asked from the back, and I stifled a chuckle. She was quite adorable in a very specific sort of way.
“Permission granted,” I answered quickly.
“Daddy is telling the truth. We really like hanging with Max and would like to continue to do so in the future.”
“Mmm…too…” Max said blearily, his eyes closed and his chin still resting on his chest. Oh, he was so close to being out-out. I would not be surprised if he even slept until noon the next day. But I wasn’t complaining. He certainly could use the rest with how active he’d been lately.
“I’d love for you guys to hang out again too,” I agreed, twisting around to smile at her. “I really appreciate how lovely you’ve been to Max.”
“It’s no problem,” Eva added. “Max is fun!”
“Yes, I agree,” her older sister said quite sagely, like they were agreeing on a new commandment for the people. “Max is very fun. And he knows a lot of facts. And those are fun.”
“I agree,” I said with so much enthusiasm, my son would have cringed if he was fully conscious. “Has he told you guys about immortal jellyfish yet?” He’d learned about that after binge-watching an entire nature documentary mini-series, and I’d heard him drop it in casual conversation to different people about a hundred times since.
“No.” Addy leaned forward, her eyes sparkling with the same delight Max had whenever he was about to dig into a new book. “What is it?”
“I’ll save that for him to tell you next time, since it’s one of his favorites. Just another reason for all of you to play again, right?”
“Right,” Addy, Eva, and Remy all agreed at the same time. Almost immediately, they burst into laughter, and that was enough for Max to open one of his eyes.
“Whasso funny?” he asked, blinking blearily.
“Just these three being a bunch of goofy goobers.” I reached back to ruffle his hair. When he pressed his head against my hand, it was the perfect topping on an already delicious sundae of an outing. I would be thinking about this wonderful night for a long time. “Remy is gonna drive us home, so you relax for a bit. We’re about twenty minutes away, give or take.”
“Twen’ minutes,” Max repeated, then looked at Addy. “Thanks for drivin’ me around.” She gave him a nod, which I’d figured out was her ‘thing’. Max looked at Eva next. “And thanks for walking with me. Your hands are warm.”
“Bears run hot!”
I had no idea what that meant, but Max nodded like it made perfect sense. It was probably some inside joke between them. That was okay. Not everything was my business.
“They do,” Remy said quickly. “You love bears, don’t you, Eva?”
“I loveyoouu.”
“Haha, I love you too, baby girl.” Remy glanced at me. “Do you wanna punch your address into the GPS? We can do the closest corner store if you don’t want me to know where you live.”
“No, I don’t mind you knowing,” I answered honestly, although I was touched that Remy would be aware that such a thing was a risk for a single mother. “Besides, you’re going to need to know for the future playdates.”
I was trying my best not to get caught up in silly feelings or an inappropriate crush, but it was really hard to convince myself that was the right path when the corners of his eyes crinkled. Honestly, I hadn’t really stopped smiling since we’d met at the rink. Was that me just looking at everything with rose-colored glasses? Or was life trying to tell me something?
“I can’t argue with your logic there,” he said, turning his eyes back to the road and the rather lengthy line we were stuck in.
I tended to get car sick, which was why I preferred to drive, but since we were mostly stationary, I was able to punch in my address without any adverse effects. While my days of reading in the car were long over, it was nice to know that I wasn’t completely useless.
A foreign sensation came over me as I embraced my passenger princess self. I didn’thaveto be useful. I could just sit and enjoy the sights, enjoy the conversation, without having to plan three steps ahead or be fully aware of our surroundings. I’d been on my own for so long, I forgot what it was like to be taken care of, even in such a small way.
I’d also forgotten how much I liked it, even if one part of my mind whispered that it was a trap.
I did my best to ignore that. This wasn’t like the situation with my parents or the rest of their circle. Remy was just a wonderful man trying to raise his daughters right after a terrible loss. And man, oh man, were they turning out to be exceptionally lovely to my son. That was one gift horse I would never look in the mouth.
The drive home was relatively uneventful. Eva and Addy were also drowsing in the backseat. I’d begun to wonder if they were little beings of perpetual energy. Then again, I was so used to Max’s needs for a lot of extra rest, that I wasn’t up to speed with other kids.
I glanced back at them. It was so sweet to see the three of them all chilled out and dozing while Christmas music played on the radio. They looked like siblings out on a holiday trip together, and they definitely got along like they’d always been in each other’s lives.
Goodness, that was a thought, wasn’t it? Max had been completely unplanned. For a month after I’d found out, I’d searched my soul to make sure I was ready to bring a life into the world. His father had sworn up and down that he would help me and be there for him, only to dump me at a rest stop a week after I decided to keep the baby. Disappointing? Absolutely. But I never once regretted my choice. What Ididoccasionally regret was that Max wouldn’t have a sibling. Sometimes it felt unfair to him, but also, I knew it was the right choice. I didn’t have the financial means, and I was sure if I’d had another child, I would have ended up neglecting them while Max was at his sickest, and that just wouldn’t be fair to them.
So, seeing the trio together was a bit of wish fulfillment on my part, but that was okay. It was also okay for me to daydream about what could have been as long as I didn’t let it distract me from what was.
