Page 57 of Have a Bear-y Little Christmas
“Really?” I asked, and this time I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Is that what this is about?”
“If you ask me, children are just particularly violent, and their little minds crave the conflict, but it actually started with whether dogs were better than cats, then it moved on to what’s the best color, and now, after the second failed ceasefire, we have the peanut butter dilemma.”
Ana had such a fun way of talking, her deadpan completely sincere, with her accent drifting between heavier than Remy’s and lighter. I got the feeling that she likely had to code-switch a lot in her regular life, but it was interesting to see it in real time.
“We’ll moderate,” I said with the same faux seriousness. “And perhaps we will know peace within our lifetime.”
“What is peace if not a cage to grow comfortable in?” Ana said before winking and returning back to her cheery, rather rapid-fire demeanor. “Anyways! I could probably eat a horse if I stayed much longer, and the farmers around here don’t appreciate that. I’ll see you guys in a bit?”
“Sure,” Remy said. “Hopefully, by the time you’re done, the kids will be ready for a break.”
“No doubt, no doubt, especially if there’s hot chocolate involved. I’ll probably have the hubs take them to dinner, though, and maybe theirTiaDulce. She’s been complaining she got almost no time with the kids since she was silly and justhadto give birth to her firstborn last Christmas.”
“Yeah, really poor planning on her part,” I said.
She pointed a perfectly manicured finger at me. “You get it.”
“That I do.”
She hurried off, leaving me, Remy, and two opposing armies of holiday-fueled children.
Already, our trip was turning out better than I could have ever asked for.
“What a day, right?” I asked wearily but happily as Remy walked Max and I to our door.
We’d spent nearly an hour with the kids before Ana’s husband and his sister came to escort them to the main cabin for dinner and refreshments, and finally peace was established between the two factions, fueled by warm apple cider and hot chocolate.
Strangely enough, standing out in the cold and watching our kids and Ana’s kids—and four others whose parentage was yet unknown to me—commit various snow-related war crimes against each other had been enough to recharge my social battery to hang around a bit to make sure Max was all right. I didn’t strike up a conversation, but I sat in a comfy chair by yet another towering bookcase while sipping tea and munching on smoked salmon, cheese, and a couple of sweet treats. Remy drifted through the crowd, never staying with one group too long.
But every so often, at no interval that I could predict, he would look back and smile at me so softly, so sweetly, that it made it hard to swallow, and made me very aware of my hands. It was a pretty weird sensation to have. I’d always had my hands, so I had no idea why my mind was drawing a blank on where to rest them, hold them, or even how to act natural at all.
“It’s been a long but good one,” Remy answered, his tone low but musical as always. I got the impression that he didn’t do it purposefully, but I loved the way his tone meandered when he was relaxed. “I’m looking forward to tomorrow when we have the whole day and don’t lose so many hours to the drive.”
“Oh, I feel you there,” I agreed heartily, and insanely enough, I had the urge to giggle.Actuallygiggle!
It was a little embarrassing how much this man was affecting me. If I didn’t know better, I would say that it was a kind of high school crush. Except I wasn’t the type to get crushes, and I’ve never even gone to high school. I’d started a program to get my GED right before I found out I was pregnant, and despite the tumultuous chain of events, I’d continued it, finishing it a little late after Max was born, but I was proud of myself, nonetheless.
I didn’t mention that to people, though, because it made them doubt my abilities as an editor, but I’d been a big reader since I could hold a book. The commune’s librarian had takenme under her wing during the last few years of her life, and she’d given me some workbooks for grammar, syntax, and the like. As soon as I had my GED, I started an online college program and got my Associate’s Degree in English Lit. I’d started with being paid pennies on the dollar with Fiverr, but in the five years since I’d been doing it professionally, I’d learned a whole lot and I was really confident in my abilities.
So yeah, considering the road I’d walked and the fact that it didn’t feel like I’d really had the chance to be a kid since I’d gotten my period, it was entirely alien to be all flushed and flustered over a man who was just being a decent human.
Ugh. I was getting too deep into my head, but then we reached my door, and I paused a bit in front of it while Max and Remy’s daughters rushed right up to it and inside.
“Tomorrow, do you wanna go ice fishin’ on the lake with our uncle?” I heard Addy already asking.
“I gotta ask Mama, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“It’s fine!” I called happily. “As long as you get to bed on time and eat a good breakfast!”
“Okies!”
The kids started to say their goodbyes, but they got distracted with talking about a magical fish or something. It was fascinating, and normally I wouldn’t have minded eavesdropping on how their growing brains worked, but instead I turned to Remy.
He was always handsome, of course, but he looked even more so with the sun setting behind him, sinking beneath the craggy tree line and turning the world golden for a lingering last kiss of daylight. It was a dreamy end to a dreamy start to a dreamy holiday.
God, it was going to be hard to get back to the real world.
Oh well, that could wait until after Christmas. For now, I was just going to drown myself with all the holiday magic that I could.
