Page 129 of Have a Bear-y Little Christmas
“I-I…it hurts!”
Talk about a declaration that just about broke my heart in two. As much as I had looked forward to sharing this part of my culture with my daughter, I’d thought I had more time.
“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay,” I said, keeping my tone low and level. “Just try to breathe through it. Don’t fight it. I know it’s scary, but this is as natural as getting your period. It’s messy, it doesn’t feel so great, but I promise that it’s an important part of getting older and I promise that youwillget through this.”
“I don’t… I don’t know…”
“Here, Addy, look into my eyes. I’m your alpha, and I will show you how. Just me and you, baby.”
By now, we’d assembled quite the crowd, several of them leaning in and murmuring, but I paid them no mind. My onlyconcern was for my eldest daughter as she took her first steps into her animal form.
“You’ll shift?” Addy asked, her voice as small as it had been when she was a toddler.
“Yes, I’ll shift, and you’ll shift with me. We’ll do this together.”
“Okay.”
She raised her head. Jeannie and Eva held her hands, and I could feel Max standing behind me. Even though I was the only one shifting, it truly felt like we were a unit helping her together. That we were connected in a way that could fight off any fear and dull the pain to help her through.
“Breathe in,” I said softly, beginning to let go of my human form. My bear was already there, raring to go at the sight of one of his cubs meeting him, but I held him back. He didn’t quite understand why we needed to transition so incredibly slowly, but we’d worked together long enough that he listened. Fur rippled out across my body. “Breathe out.”
Addy did as I said, and her hair began to grow and change texture, transitioning into an animal coat. The scent of her stress was thick and heavy in the air, and I could hear the first signs of bones about to shift their position.
That was going to be one of the worst parts, second only to the face, so I rumbled as my own hips and legs changed how they were arranged.
“Feel that wild energy within you,” I said, although words were becoming more and more difficult by the moment. “Let it wash over you. Surround you. It’s going to hurt, but it will also feel so good. You jush—” My words began to slur as my teeth grew rapidly and my muzzle expanded. Normally, I would shift to shifter speak, but Addy wouldn’t be able to hear me until she’d completed her transformation.
I panicked, worried that without my voice to guide her, she’d lose her way, but then Jeannie’s soft voice filled the air between us.
“That’s it. You’re doing beautifully, Addy. Just keep watching what your daddy does and follow his lead. You’re going to be the most amazing bear, I know it! I can’t wait to see what your coat looks like! Do you think you’ll be an alpha like your daddy?”
I was amazed. Jeannie was a human, and by all rights she should have been horrified or completely out of her depth, but just like with everything else, she handled it with a grace I didn’t think I could ever muster. And the love she poured into every word she spoke to my daughter? It cemented more than ever that I had made the right choice in inviting her into our lives.
There was a sharp crack as my daughter’s spine lengthened, and the poor girl let out a bellowing roar. It had to be a terrifying sound to anyone who wasn’t a bear already familiar with their form, and yet Max, Eva, and Jeannie didn’t even flinch.
“Bluumrd!” Addy’s muffled, distorted voice came from between her shifting teeth. I winced a bit, recalling how uncomfortable that sensation had been my first several shifts. “D’n wanna blee! Pleaz!”
My brain scrambled to understand, but then Max came out from around me and crouched next to Addy, one of his hands on her rapidly expanding and widening back.
“There’s not gonna be any blood, Addy, I promise. Isn’t that right,Dad?”
That word made my brain skip. The last time Max had called me that was at the Christmas performance when I proposed to his mother. He hadn’t used it since, and although I’d been a bit mystified by it, I figured he’d just needed a little more time.
Apparently that time was now.
I chuffed an affirmative, and Jeannie translated. “That’s right, Addy. There won’t be any blood at all, baby girl. Not one drop. So, you don’t have to be scared about that at all, okay?”
She shuddered, and Ifelther relax, but we weren’t out of the woods yet, and Max clearly knew that.
“Hey, Addy, just think about how cool this is gonna be!” he said, his tone light as if we weren’t in possibly one of the most dramatic moments of any young shifter’s life. “We can go hunting for honeycombs like in that survival book. And you can climb trees when we go on hikes in case we get lost. Also, now that you’re a bear, you’re going to have all those super senses, right? You’re basically a superhero!”
Addy grunted, a purely animalistic sound, before collapsing into a heap of disjointed limbs on the ground. There was a bit more shaking on her part, and I rapidly finished my shift so that when she finally rose, I was a full bear and ready to help her.
All in all, the entire scene took probably less than ten minutes, but it seemed like an eternity. I was equal parts horrified at the pain my daughter was going through, proud of her stepping into her full bearhood, and touched, truly touched, by Jeannie and Max’s unconditional, unflinching love.
“I love you,” Eva whispered, leaning down toward Addy’s head. My eldest daughter’s ears were not quite visible yet under her dark, dark fur.
And that seemed to be the last little bit she needed, because after another shudder, a small black bear sat on the ground, head tilting to give me a weary look.
