Page 70 of Have a Bear-y Little Christmas
Then again, maybe the fresh air and the ability to play with a bunch of other children who didn’t treat him with kid gloves was doing wonders for him. My inner bear chose to believe that one, and rumbled in pride at having provided successfully for a cub in his care. I reminded that primal force within me that Max wasnotactually my responsibility even if I was starting to feel that way. In response, my inner animal basically gave me the bear equivalent of a middle finger.
Well, that was certainly something.
“I was told there is, like, a real-life abandoned cabin at the end of the trail. And in the snow, it looks like the North Pole! I wanna see.”
Never in a million years would I ever get tired of the unrepentant joy and enthusiasm that Max and Eva shared. Even though Addy often liked to play her cards close to her chest, I could tell she was pleased as punch at how accurately she had predicted what would make her new friend happy. That was my girl, using those mental powers of hers for good.
“Oh, I’ve been there, but not in a while. You’re right that it’s really fun.”
“We should really get a move on if we want to make it there and back before sundown,” Ana said, practically beaming. Although she had always been the cheerful sort, often being a clown for Zara in the darkest of times, she seemedreallyjazzed about this particular hike. Maybe she’d been caught up in a lot of her work lately? She was a woman who liked to move around physically, so maybe this was giving her some much-needed catharsis.
“Okay, just a few more pictures now that everybody’s here,” Jeannie said, her rounded cheeks pink and her hazel eyes practically dreamy.
Dreamy? Really? Since when do I use adjectives like that?
Now, apparently, because even though I questioned the word, it still rang true in my mind.
“Addy, Eva, take the spy pose with Max.”
“OMG YAS! We can be like Charlie’s angels!”
I raised my eyebrow at the fact that not only did Max find the idea of being one of Charlie’s angels exciting, but also that he knew about it at all. Jeannie shrugged and sent me a smile that would have looked right at home on one of the angels painted onto the roof of the Sistine Chapel.
“He watched a lot of old TV when he was in the hospital. Older patients needing chemo, you know?”
Ah.
It absolutely made sense now that she had said it. I couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that his sickness had really influenced every aspect of Max’s young life—the books he read, the way he had to hold himself, the media he watched… He’d had to sit still in ways most children never could, had been so weak he couldn’t even get out of bed. He’d missed out on so much, and yet, he was such a wonderful mix of child, ancient soul, and hope all bundled up into one—knock on wood—growing package.
He really was so similar to Zara in that way.
“You’re clearly Lucy Liu’s character,” the young boy said, unapologetically himself as he always was. “I’m Cameron Diaz, and Eva, you’re Drew Barrymore.”
“I don’t know who she is.”
“Technically, she’s an actress, but her character is cool. You’d like her. She’s got kind of a raspy voice too.”
As I watched them all interact together, my pride continued to grow, filling me with warmth from the soles of my feet all the way up to my scalp. Again, I was struck with that feeling of it almost being meant to be. Max was such a perfect bridge between my two daughters, yet completely comfortable with both.
“They really are three peas in a pod, aren’t they?” Ana asked, smoothly popping up at my side while Jeannie was preoccupied with her mini photo shoot. Normally people taking so many pictures instead of being in the moment bothered me, but not with her.
Probably because I knew what each and every one of those photos meant to her as a mother who had almost gone through a parent’s worst nightmare. Each one was not only proof that ithappened, but also a memory to cherish forever no matter what tragedies life might bring.
Eventually, we got to walking, with the kids running off ahead and doing what kids did: picking up cool rocks, finding also-cool sticks, and kicking any chunks of snow.
Really, anybody looking in from the outside who didn’t know the situation would probably think we were a family.
Family…
I swallowed hard, but didn’t let myself focus on that thought. For now, I just wanted to enjoy the Christmas feel of it all.
But even though I was, as my kids might say, vibing hard with everything, I noticed Max began to flag about twenty minutes later. Not much at first, but a little more with each passing moment. I exchanged glances with Jeannie, and I could tell she was struggling with whether to call it quits or not. Max had been so excited that it seemed a borderline crime to rain on his parade—or snow on his hike, to fit with the season.
Surprisingly, it was the boy himself who decided. He sat down on a rock, his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. Jeannie was at his side in a split second, moving insanely quickly just like she had on the ice when we first met.
“I dunno if I can keep going,” he murmured and I instantly felt awful for him. It was so very clear to me that Maxwantedto be as active as my girls could be, but it just wasn’t a reality for him yet. He had so much he needed to recover from, and on top of that, he had to build up his stamina.
“Aw, that’s okay, baby,” she said, crouching down in front of him and being her usual sweet self. “We can head back.”
