Page 85 of Her Tiger of a Duke
“Leave them be,” she repeated. Beatrice took Owen’s arm, and they went out to the gardens.
They walked in silence for a while, Beatrice thinking of his words repeatedly. At last, Owen cleared his throat.
“I understand if you did not like that show of affection.”
“No, I did,” she assured him. “I never would have asked for it, but it was precisely what I needed to hear. I know it is perhaps rather childish, but this is all I have needed from you all along.”
“To know that I love you?”
“To know that you truly are proud of me. I have wanted to be loved, yes, but I also wanted you to make it known to others that I am. I want people to see me and envy me, almost, because I am adored so much.”
“I want to do that for you. I have been a terrible husband, but that is going to change. I will be better, Beatrice. I am going to make it so that you never again question my intentions, because I will always ensure you understand them.”
“I do not need anything more than that,” she said softly. “And you were never a terrible husband. I understand now that you kept things from me because you loved me. You wanted to protect me, and as misguided as you were, I cannot blame you for that.”
“Be that as it may, I will not do it again. You shall know everything that I do, and that starts now.”
“Does that mean…”
Her voice trailed off, as she was concerned that he was not going to tell her about his sister, still. He had promised, but that waseasily broken when it came to something that had caused him such tremendous pain.
“Yes, I will tell you everything about Lydia. If I may, though, I would like to wait until we have returned home. It would be best if you could see the river as I explain.”
“Would that not be awful for you to see again?”
“It is time,” he said simply. “It happened many years ago, and I cannot avoid part of our estate forever. It is time for me to move on. It is what Lydia would have wanted.”
They remained with Emma for a while longer, and Beatrice played with the children while they waited for her things to be prepared. She was going to miss them, but she knew that she could visit as she pleased. There was no real bitterness to her leaving, only hope for the future.
As they made their way home, Beatrice settled against Owen’s arm and took a deep breath. With it, it felt like months of difficulty disappeared too. Everything had changed, but it was for the better. She had hoped that they could begin again, but she was even happier that that was not the case.
“You are wonderful with those children,” he said kindly to her.
“I adore them. I know that you are not fond of the idea of having our own, but I do think that they would bring us joy one day.”
“That is something else that I have had a long time to think about. I was afraid of having children because of the protection they require. I was terrified that I would not be able to care for them but seeing you with them made me realize that it does not have to be that way.”
He took her hand and tilted her chin up to look at him.
“I want to grow with you,” he continued. “I want to spend my life by the side of a beautiful and bright lady, one that challenges me in a way that I have never been before. I know that I have only just told you, but I love you, Beatrice. I should not have been as afraid of it as I was, but I am not going to allow that anymore. I will never be afraid of anything again, as long as I have you.”
With that, he kissed her softly. There was no roughness to it like before. Instead, she melted into him, falling into his arms as his fingers ran through her hair.
When they pulled apart, she was dizzy and breathless and more loved than she had ever thought possible. She could not stop smiling, which was just as well because she did not want to.
“We shall have to work, though,” she warned. “There will be difficult times again, and I need you to tell me when that happens, rather than hiding away.”
“And I will. I should have always done that.”
When they returned to their own estate, Owen wasted no time taking her to the forest. The fence was in place, blocking the river from view, and Beatrice pulled his arm, keeping him back.
“There was a lot of time and money spent on this,” she warned. “Are you certain that breaking it is a good idea?”
Without saying a word, he tore it down. It was only one of the boards, but it was a start. He stepped over the resulting stump and took her hand to help her over too. Once again, she was in the forest, but it was different this time. She saw it the way that he did, with dangers everywhere and a most terrible site nearby. She sensed his trepidation, but her hand remained in his as he guided her to the water.
“This is where I found her,” he explained, shaking. “I cannot forget it. You asked me how I felt about my father, and I told you that I hated him, but I did not tell you why. You see, it was because of an argument between him and my sister that led her to leave that day. He demanded that she became a proper lady, rather than one that thought for herself and did as she pleased. She had always wanted to do as I did and jump to the other side.”
“Can you truly jump that?”
