Page 102 of The Bad Girl
I take a seat in a chair askance to the sofa. “The last couple weeks, I’ve been preparing myself for our eventual meeting.”
“Preparing yourself?”
“I know this is crazy, but bear with me. Back six years ago, when I graduated high school, I did something stupid.”
Tom looks away, his cheeks flushing red.
“It was dumb, and I did it because my feelings were just so damn strong. My entire senior year, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I was about to leave for college, and I knew I’d go on to meet someone, or a few someones. I just didn’t want my first time to be with a person I’d regret.” I bow my head. “I was so humiliated when you denied me.”
Tears spill from my eyes, rolling over my cheeks, but this time, it’s not the rejection that has me so emotional. It’s my confusion.
“Get over here, Nadine,” Tom commands, and I rush into his waiting arms.
“I figured, based on your pictures, you were into women much more exciting than myself, so I’ve spent the last week trying to give myself an inside out makeover, trying to go from safe and secure to exciting and dangerous. It was stupid, I know this now, but I just wanted it so badly. Now, I don’t know what I want.”
“God, I wish I had known this. I’ve thought about that night countless times. Believe it or not, that night shaped my life for the years that came after it.”
I pull back, intrigued. “Huh?”
“I guess I have my own confession to make. While you have your version of the events, there’s another version. One you couldn’t possibly know.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You remember how I got in trouble in high school?”
I think back eight years ago when he was a senior, and I was a sophomore.
“Yeah.”
“Do you know why I got in trouble?”
“Ummm…vandalism?”
“That’s what I was expelled for, but it ain’t the truth. Well, not the whole of it, anyway.”
“What happened?”
Tom wipes away his own tears, and suddenly, I don’t want to know what happened, but I listen anyway.
“I had just scored the winning touchdown at a game. Me and the whole team were high on life. I felt invincible, I mean, when you’re the star quarterback people make you feel like a god. Anyway, we showered, got dressed, and everyone planned on meeting up at a teammate’s house. I hung back a little, as did one of the linebackers.”
My stomach twists in a knot, wondering what exactly Tom did to get himself into so much trouble.
“At the time, I thought it was one of the best nights of my life, and I wanted to make it better. I was always real careful with my secret. Always worried, but that night, I said, ‘fuck it,’ and threw caution to the wind.”
“Your secret? What are you talking about?”
“Nadine, I’m gay. I had my suspicions growing up, but it wasn’t until I was in high school that it really hit me.”
Holy fucking shit!“Oh…”
“I’d been offered a free ride to some good schools based on athletics and my grades, and some of my teammates were jealous. A few pretended to leave, I guess somehow they just knew. Anyway, they took a video of me and Greg kissing and threatened to release it.”
“Oh God, no!”
“Greg and I begged them not to. It would have made our lives hell. They didn’t really care about Greg on account that he wasn’t so highly sought after. It was an aim to take me down.”
“I’m so sorry.”
