Page 52 of The Bad Girl
He pivots, turning away from me, and I decide that maybe it’s time for me to open up.
“Harry—”
“That’s Prince Harry, to you.”
“Look, you’re right, I’m trying to get laid.”
He pivots back around, a cautiously amused look on his face. “So, you’re dressing like this,” he gestures to my body, “because you couldn’t get laid before? In New York City, one of the most populated places on the entire planet, you couldn’t get laid?”
He starts laughing, and not a light chuckle either. He’s bent over, red-faced, grabbing his gut, belting out laughs that could wake the dead.
After a good minute, I ask, “Are you done yet?”
He stands upright, wiping tears from his eyes. “No, I don’t think I am.”
“Would you care to let me elaborate?”
“Not really.”
“Too bad.”
I pull up Tom’s profile on my phone, which now has a new picture of him on a motorcycle, but thankfully, no lady friends are accompanying him in this one.
“I’ve had a crush on this guy since I knew what a crush was.” I turn the phone to face Harry, and he squints into the screen.
‘Wow—what a snack!” His eyes bulge as he stares at the screen. “Mind if I take a looksie?” he asks, pointing to my phone.
“Go ahead.”
He takes the phone, scanning through pics and posts, going to his groups and likes.
“Wow, this looks like the face of a man that enjoys a good facesitting.”
“Wait—what?”
“If you don’t mind me asking, why now?” he asks without so much as a glance up.
“We haven’t talked in six years, since I propositioned him to take my virginity.”
“So, he took your virginity and didn’t call you for six years? Sounds so millennial.”
“No, he didn’t take my virginity. He yelled at me to get out of his room.”
Prince Harry doesn’t even bother to stifle his chuckle.
“Anyway, his sister is getting married, and he asked me to be his date for the wedding. We’re meeting for coffee next week—”
“And you’re trying to rekindle the flame. Well, rekindle wouldn’t be the word. Spark a flame?”
“Yes. Stacey and Maxwell are helping to make me more desirable to him by giving me a‘bad girl’makeover.”
“You look nothing like the hoodrats he’s been pile driving.”
“Yes, but I figure if he’s asking me to be his date, after all these years, it’s because he realizes that those women, while they may be attractive, aren’t someone he’d settle down with. If I can show him that I’m stable and safe, while still exciting, maybe we could find our happily ever after.”
Harry looks at me as though I’ve gone mad. “First, you’re not exciting. You’ll never be exciting. Second, you should have come to me for this. Now I’m stuck undoing other people’s mistakes.”
“Are you kidding? I don’t even want to come to you for this now.”
