Page 40 of Hacking His Code
“I’m not trying to judge you,” Hunter assures me. “I’m merely trying to figure you out. You have all these reasons that sound valid enough, yet I think there’s something more.”
“Well, I’m not the mystery here.”
“But…you kind of are.”
I swallow, trying to figure out what to say, and again, I return to the truth. Or…part of it.
“Remember when I said I hope I don’t turn into her?”
“Yeah.”
“I already have. Not the sex pot version; the nerdy one. I think a lot about computers, but unlike your aunt, I have a lot of personal struggles as well. My mother getting sick, my father leaving…it’s just there’s no room in my head for romance. One day, I’ll have my own journal, and my own‘him.’It’s actually just easier for me to hate men than face my shortcomings.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself.”
If only I could tell Hunter that I’d do damn near anything to avoid that fate. That I’d welcome his strong arms lifting me from my seat and throwing me on top of his bed. That as arrogant as he is, I’d welcome anything he’d be willing to do to me.
Wanting someone so desperately is like slow, sweet torture. You don’t even know that you’re giving away pieces of yourself to be devoured until it’s too late.
Calm your fucking hormones, Ari. Lucy’s not going to find herself.
As I skim through another journal, a picture falls from the pages. I pick it up to see Lucy and Ernestine standing side by side, one in a wedding dress, the other dressed as a bridesmaid.
“They’re beautiful,” I finally say, truly in awe of their physical perfection.
“My mother was four months pregnant in that picture.”
“You can’t tell.”
“My father always said he knew she was the one from the moment he first met her; he just had to convince her.”
“That’s gotta be a powerful feeling. To be so beautiful that the most powerful men in the world bow to your feet.”
Hunter gives me a queer expression, cocking a brow and twitching his mouth to the side.
His lips are well-formed with a perfect Cupid’s bow. I wonder what they’d feel like pressed against mine. Slow and sensual? Or demanding and greedy?
Stay focused…
“Can I ask you a question?”
He looks over at me, brow raised.
“Do you like forward women?”
He blinks, surprised. “Ummm…while they can be nice, it’s not necessarily what I would want all the time. I like a woman that can drive but doesn’t mind sitting in the passenger seat on occasion.”
“Oh…”
He casts me a grin that I swear is seductive, but my mind can’t be trusted at this point.
“Why do you ask?”
“Oh, just because I was trying to figure out your aunt,” I lie, burying my nose back in a journal.
I feel his eyes on me, studying me. I’m sure he’s not used to spending so much time with a nerd like myself. It can’t be that he likes me, can it?
Just the thought of him fantasizing about me sends a strong pulse shooting through my core. Instead of acting on it, though, I focus all my energy on Lucy’s writings.
