Page 12 of Savage in the Sweets
“Ummm, no thanks,” he says without looking up.
“Are you sure,” I plead. “With two figurines, you can have them interact with each other.”
“Yeah, but Xena’s the only one that’s going to get me laid.”
My eyes grow round with shock as I try to compute what he just told me.
Did I just hear him correctly? No…there’s no way…
Mr. Tracksuit snatches the figurine from his son’s hand.
“Where on Earth did you hear that?” he says harshly.
“The guys at the gym are always talking about giving their girlfriend’s jewelry so they can get laid. That’s why I’m getting the Gemmed Princess, but Xena’s gonna work as a backup.”
A fit of laughter escapes my mouth, causing Mr. Tracksuit to cast me a scathing side-glance.
His face grows red as his hand clenches the toy.
I seriously want to give Michael a high-five.
“You are never to say that again!” Mr. Tracksuit says to his son. “Do you understand?”
The boy rolls his eyes. “Fine.”
“If you’d like to teach your boy a lesson, I’ll take that off your hands.” I smile brightly at him, hoping he’ll forget about all the water flooding our bridges.
Mr. Tracksuit sneers back at me. “First come, first serve.”
“Women should always come first,” I return.
The look he gives me is one of deep confusion, and it strikes me that what I said could be taken a very different way than I had intended.
Dammit!
Finally, he says, “I assure you, when I’m with a lady, they do.”
This really couldn’t be any more embarrassing, but the fight or flight hormones that are coursing through my veins are demanding I stand my ground.
The gloves are coming off.
“You know, you act like it’s my shop that’s the gateway to moral decay. At least I’m not teaching our youth how to get ass.”
“That comment had nothing to do with my gym!” he snaps. “Michael doesn’t even know what getting laid means!”
“Sure I do,” Michael chirps. “I can tell you if you’d like.”
“No!” Mr. Tracksuit rages, spittle flying from his perfectly formed lips.
Fuck it.
I squat so that I’m at a level with Michael. “You know, if you really want to get laid, the best way is through candy.”
Michael looks up angrily at his father. “I knew it!”
Satisfied with myself, I stand, cast Mr. Tracksuit a wink, and walk out of the gaming shop with neither the Xena nor my pride.
Colin
