Page 9 of Savage in the Sweets
He shrugs his shoulders. “Some of your clients get their abs painted on. I want some.”
“Son, it’s more to highlight the abs that they have, not to just give them new ones.”
“I’ve seen some of the before and after photos. There are some people with zero abs—then they have a twenty-pack.”
“Where are you getting this crazy idea that you need abs? You’re seven.”
“April likes Chris Hemsworth, and he has abs.”
“Chris Hemsworth was Thor.”
“When April sees that I’m the only kid in second grade with abs, she’s gonna get real serious with me.”
“How serious, exactly?”
“I’m gonna get to carry her books. Throw her lunch away. Stand guard as she talks with her friends.”
“How about we skip the painted abs, and instead, we’ll work toward real ones.”
Michael rolls his eyes. “Dad! That will take too long. The party is at the beach, and it starts in three hours. It’s the only way.”
“The girls are going to know they’re fake.”
“Women get fake boobs, so why can’t men have fake abs?”
My brow shoots upward in surprise. “Where did you hear that?”
“Dad, you own a gym. Back at the old location, all the girls would talk about the best doctor for fake boobs for chicks with muscles.”
“Firstly, it’s women with muscles. They’re not livestock. Second, that has nothing to do with fake abs.”
Michael glares at me, his lower lip turning outward.
“Look, if it makes you feel any better, I have real abs, and I still can’t get any chicks.”
“So, you’re trying to date livestock now?”
God, where’d he get that smart mouth from?
“I’ll take you home to get your swimsuit and a towel. We still need to wrap her gift—”
“Can we get her something other than a stupid jump rope and dodge ball?” he pleads.
“They’re good gifts,” I reason, “and they’ll save me a trip to the store.”
“Can’t you just go to one of the shops in the complex? I’d like to get April one of those heart lollipops from that Savage Sweets place.”
“Absolutely not,” I say firmly.
“Dad! Girls like candy. If I get her gym equipment, she might believe I think she’s fat.”
I have to admit, I’m impressed with his logic. It’s not surprising, though. He’s always been gifted in strategizing.
“We’ll go to Target and pick something up for her.”
“Can we go to that big store with the comics and figurines? The Gamer’s Grove?”
“Fine.”
