Page 66 of Professional Consult
“I hope you know how damn special you are to me. That I regret how I’ve treated you.”
“Everything happened so fast with us. We never had time to breathe.”
She sinks to the bottom of the boat and puts her head on my lap.
Just a few days ago, I’d wished I’d never met Lexi. Her presence—her existence—was too painful. It was a reminder of what I’d failed at in life.
But now, sitting in this boat, feeling her weight on my lap, I realize how stupid I’d been. There is nothing in the world that feels better than the love I have for Lexi, and while I will lose her in a matter of days, nothing can ever take away the memories of the time we’ve shared.
“Is it always this dead out here?” she asks.
“There are better lakes around these parts, so yeah.”
“Do you come out to the lake often?”
“Only for work. I used to take Clint out, but that was years ago.”
“Was it hard when he left?”
“We’d had a fight, and I’m ashamed to say I was on the wrong side of it. He was just so different from me. I was into sports. He was into theater. I drove him away.”
“It seems like he turned out just fine, and that’s because of you.”
“You know, I haven’t talked to him in years?”
“Really?”
“Not until you. I’ve wanted to pick up the phone so many times to congratulate him, but I’m just too damn stubborn. I made light of his desires in life, but thankfully, everything worked out for him. It wasn’t that I resented his success. I was proud of it. But how can I talk to him after I’d called what he did a hobby and said it wouldn’t amount to anything?”
“The truth is, going into acting is a terrible idea. Most people fail, even those with considerable talent. It’s an anomaly that Clint made it.”
“I owe him more than I can ever repay.”
Her head shoots up, and she looks at me. “You took care of him instead of allowing him to go into the foster system.”
I look away, ashamed.
“Luke, please tell me this isn’t about your parents. That you blame yourself.”
A part of me had hoped she didn’t know the whole story, but apparently, someone has a big mouth.
“I don’t want to talk about them. I’ve come to terms with what’s happened. I’d rather not relive that. ”
Her hand folds over mine. “I understand, but if you ever need to, I’m here.”
I chuckle dryly. “Not for long.”
“I’ll always be here. Whether it be waking up by your side, or by phone, I never plan on leaving you.”
Why does everything have to hurt so badly? I try so hard to outrun everything that’s happened, but peace always evades me.
Tears well in my eyes, blinding me.
Lexi’s hands cup my face, and I feel her soft lips press against mine.
Desperation and longing tug at my sanity. This woman is all I’ve ever wanted in life. She’s made parts of me feel alive that I’d feared were long dead.
I claw at her pants, forcing them and her panties down and off her body. I need to get inside of her. To feel her heat. To bury my sins.
