Page 13 of Sugar Rush
“I can’t relax here.”
“Let me come with you. Please.”
A neon sign in my brain was flashing with the wordno. It wasn’t a good idea. I needed distance from him. I needed to get away from his scent, and his soft voice, and those pleading blue eyes. But at that moment, being apart from him felt like the most devastating thing imaginable. It was physically impossible for me to say no. And there was no way in hell I was leaving him here now, not without me to watch over him.
“Fine. Come on.”
When he kept his light grip on my wrist, I gently reached down and pulled his hand off.
“There’s too many people we know here,” I said, when his brows furrowed together at my action. The hurt disappointment on his face was like a stab to my chest. Hewantedto be touching me, holding onto me.
“Oh. Right,” he said, shaking his head like he didn’t know what had come over him. I felt exactly the same way. I felt like I was in a fever dream. A fever dream where Jordy wanted me as much as I wanted him. I wanted to be elated, but I couldn’t. “I’m sorry,” he added weakly.
I wanted to tell him not to apologize, that he could do anything he wanted to me, or use me any way that would give him even the tiniest sliver of pleasure or comfort. But I couldn’t encourage his behavior. No matter how fucking badly I wanted to.
“You want to tell Dani you don’t need a ride home?”
“I’ll text her from the truck.” And then he did it again, that tiny fleeting brush of contact to the back of my hand, right over where I had my royal crown tattoo. Even once his fingers were gone, that patch of my skin kept burning. “Lead the way.”
JORDY
ON THE WAYout, all I could think about was how I wished Kieran would touch me again, even if it was just to drag me out by the wrist. He wasn’t that kind of guy, the kind that was casual about physical affection. But I wanted him to be different with me. And it seemed like maybe he wanted that too. Or at least, it had seemed that way when we’d been alone in that bedroom without anyone else watching us.
As we passed the couch where Andrew was still sitting, his eyes followed my every movement, but he didn’t say anything. Was he afraid of Kieran? I reached out to grab the drink I’d left sitting on the side table so I could take it with me, but Kieran yanked it out of my hand like it was filled with a dangerous poison.
“I’ll get you something on the way home.”
“I-it’s just soda,” I managed to stammer out, despite the fact that my stomach was thrashing and my chest was pounding. “I wasn’t drinking or anything.” It was kind of embarrassing, the way my body reacted when he was being all protective and possessive like that. Was it logical to feel embarrassed by something my natural biology pretty muchdemanded? No. Did that stop it from happening? Also, no.
“I know,” he answered shortly, but kept moving ahead like all he wanted was to be out of this stupid party. I couldn’t really blame him.
I didn’t know if it was going to be awkward, but I could tell he was feeling just as uncertain and shocked as I was. But I’dknown Kieran for a long time. He wasn’t good at taking surprises or disappointments on the chin and moving on. If I let him, he would brood and stew and isolate. And that was the last thing I wanted, especially because I’d been the one to encourage what had happened… Or almost happened. I needed to fix the heavy tension between us.
People called out to me or tried getting my attention as we rushed out of the house, but I didn’t react. I’d make excuses later if I needed to.
As we approached Kieran’s truck, he opened the passenger door for me before circling around to the driver’s side.
“You’re such a gentleman tonight,” I observed, as he slid in. He gave me a wry, aggravated look before revving up the engine and pulling out. “And you’re in such a good mood.”
“You’re the reason I’m like this,” he informed me, keeping his eyes forward. But I could see that his jaw was clenched. He had a sexy, defined jawline that was really easy to stare at.
“We’re not going home?” I asked, when he passed the turnoff that would lead to our neighborhood.
“If we go home already, then your dad’s going to think something weird happened.”
We could have just said the party was lame so we didn’t want to stay, but I didn’t want to give him the suggestion in case it made him actually turn around and take me home. It seemed like maybe he was trying thepretend nothing happenedapproach. I wasn’t letting that shit slide. I could make him feel better about it without ignoring it, I was sure.
“Didsomething weird happen?” I asked, scooting my butt down in the seat so I could prop my knees up onto the ratty dashboard.
“No.”
“Really? I feel kind of weird.” If feeling totally horny and swoony was weird.
“That sounds like a you problem.”
I watched him without saying anything for a few minutes. Like a full-on, completely unsubtle stare with my whole body angled toward him. I could tell that he knew I was staring, but that was the point. I might have been a little more nervous about being so obvious if it weren’t for the fact that he’d more or less exposed himself as a snarling monster fueled by jealousy and lust specifically for me, just a handful of minutes earlier. For a broody guy with a bunch of tattoos that scowled more than he smiled, he could be really stupidly cute.
“You’re okay, right?” He finally asked.
