Page 61 of Sugar Rush
“You’re the one that’s worried,” he pointed out. “I don’t need to be comforted.”
Groaning lightly, I tried to ignore the sting of shame that his words caused, by burying my face into his chest, pulling the blankets up to cover my head.
“I’m sure that’s a really attractive trait for an alpha,” I muttered caustically. “You must be so turned on.”
Tugging the blankets back down so my face was exposed, Jordy gave me one of his signature wry looks. “That’s dumb. I don’t think about things like that.”
I already knew that, but hearing him say it out loud did make me feel a little less embarrassed. Fractionally.
“Will you be honest about something?” I asked, after a stretch of silence, where his fingers stroking lightly down my back threatened to have me purring against him. The contact was soothing, and felt like an anchor holding me down to the earth.
“Of course.”
“You really aren’t disappointed?” I wondered. “In the way that… it happened?” I didn’t think I needed to explain further.
“I already told you I’m not,” he said, the sincerity in his voice shining through loud and clear. He really, truly wasn’t. I could barely fathom it. He deserved so much better than what I’d given him. “As long as it’s with you, I’m okay with whatever we do. I really mean that,” he added, and I could barely hold myself back from cringing. He really did mean it. His trust felt like a dangerous drug that I could overdose on with one wrong move.
“So you didn’t imagine some romantic setting with your Prince Charming for your first time?”
He scoffed, gliding his hands up to grasp at my jaw, holding my face in place so I was forced to stare up at him. He only did that when he wanted to make sure I was really listening.
“Kieran, you are my prince. You’re the only guy I will ever want.”
“That’s not possible,” I argued automatically, despite the fact that his words sent my stomach into a loopy, twirling mess. “You only think that because I’m who you’re around all the time.”
He scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief at me. “That’s ridiculous. I went to high school all four years, same as you. I’ve been around tons of alphas, and you know that because you lose your mind every time you see me talking to one.”
“I…” I couldn’t exactly argue with that. “You’re my stepbrother.” It was the easiest issue to fall back on, but he didn’t even acknowledge it.
“Can you just make up your mind?” He asked. I could tell he was annoyed with what I’d said, but his tone was still calm and even. He was so much better at that than I was. “Either you want me all to yourself, or you don’t think we should be together at all. You can’t have both.”
“That’s… I’m not trying to keep you for myself,” I lied. He was right. I was pathetic. Even though I knew keeping Jordy away from me would be the best thing for him, I couldn’t even manage that simple task.
“Or,” he went on like I hadn’t said anything. “You can tell me the big, horrible thing that’s holding you back.” He shifted, nudging me onto my back and climbing up to straddle my hips so his hands were planted on my chest as he stared down at me. “I heard you saying my name, you know.”
“When?” I asked, immediately distracted by the sight and feel of his bare thighs on either side of my body. He was sostupidly sexy, it was unfair. Like I couldn’t help myself, I glided my palms up his smooth, warm legs.
“When you were having that nightmare.”
My fingers tightened on him. “I don’t want to talk about that.”
“I know you don’t. You won’t talk to me about anything,” he pointed out. “Even though I’m always honest with you about how I feel.”
“Look, there’s no big secret, okay? It should be obvious why we can’t…” I trailed off, uncomfortable. Why what? Why we couldn’t be together? We’d gone on a date and I’d taken his virginity less than six hours earlier. I’d already crossed the line and broken the most important rule. But still, the idea that we could actually be a couple was an impossible dream.
“Obvious?” He repeated. “You already said it wasn’t just that you’re my stepbrother. You said there’s something else.”
Frustrated with the conversation, I made an attempt to push him off me, but he held tight, squeezing me with his surprisingly strong thighs.
“You’re the smartest person in your graduating class but when it comes to me, you act like you don’t have an ounce of sense in your brain,” I griped, my dick swelling up even more as he squirmed on top of me to keep me from bucking him off. Swallowing hard, I did my best to ignore the heavenly feeling of his perky little ass grinding along the length of my cock. I knew for absolute fact the little troll was doing it on purpose.
“So explain it to me. Enlighten my simple omega brain on why it would besoterrible,” he requested, sarcasm dripping from every syllable.
“I… I would, but I can’t think when you’re doing that!” I snapped, reaching up to grab his hips in an iron grip, preventing any more of that delicious movement. I was fully erect now, my breath coming out just a little too hard.
“Let me ask you a simple question,” he said, moving his head in a mockingly curious little tilt, like he was making fun of me. Hewasmaking fun of me. Despite everything that had happened between us, he was still Jordy Nolan. “If there was a magic button that would make it so we could be together, and I would be all yours whenever you want me, would you press it?”
Even just the split second I allowed myself to imagine that scenario had the back of my throat burning. There was no magic button that could fix me, and make me worthy of him. But if there had been, I’d have pressed it in a second.
