Page 22 of Sugar Rush
“This crush I have on you?” He repeated, like each word was a separate idea and he didn’t understand any of them.
“I’m flattered,” I added quickly. “Because you’re…” The sexiest, smartest person in the fucking world with the cutest laugh that never, ever judges me, with the funniest personality that could always make me feel better when I felt like complete and total shit. “Attractive,” I finished. “But it’s just not going to happen, okay? You’re not really my type and… I mean, I shouldn’t even have to point out the fact that we’re stepbrothers, which makes the whole thing completely awkward, which is why I’ve been trying to ignore it and not embarrass you. But you aren’t really getting it into your head, so I just… I just felt like I needed to make sure you understand.”
He stared at me the entire time I was talking, his eyebrow quirking up so the expression on his face was like an adult listening to an overexcited child ramble on about bugs in the park. It wasn’t the reaction I’d been hoping for.
“Kieran, be serious. You pulled your dick out and jerked off outside my be-”
My hand whipped up from my side, like I had no control of it, and clamped over his mouth to halt the rest of his sentence.
“Shut up,” I snapped out the words, adrenaline bubbling up in my blood at the mere mention of what had happenedlast night. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” When I didn’t pull my hand away from his mouth, he laved spit all over my palm with his tongue, so I yanked it back, grimacing in disgust. He could be such a vindictive little troll when he was pissed off.
“I’m not stupid, Kieran. I heard you. I know you were watching me.”
“You forced me to do that,” I hissed out, hoping he would follow my lead and lower his fucking voice. The last thing I wanted was the neighbors thinking I was some kind of pervert. If anything,hewas the pervert for even coming up with something like that.
“If you’re not attracted to me, then how did I force you to do anything?” He demanded, his eyes narrowed into thin slits and locked directly on me.
“I- That’s…” I was not winning the battle of this particular conversation but I was in too deep to give it up now. “You’re an omega. Of course I…” Not to mention, this was by far the most humiliating conversation I’d ever experienced. “That’s just biology. It wasn’t because it was you.”
He sighed deeply, scrubbing his palms over his face in pure frustration. It didn’t seem like he was buying my excuses, but I wasn’t altogether surprised by that. He hadn’t graduated top of his class by being stupid and gullible.
“Okay, Kieran,” he finally said, sounding weary, like he was tired of the conversation. Good. Maybe if he was tired of it, he would stop doing things to force me into saying dumb shit. “So, I just want to make sure we’re on the same page. You’re not attracted to me, and anything that I could bring up that made itseemlike you’re attracted to me was purely biological and not a reflection of any feelings you have toward me specifically.”
“… Right,” I answered, a bit cautiously. “Exactly.”
He shrugged his shoulders, holding up his palms like a surrender. “Okay.”
It was too calm, too even-tempered to be a response to a rejection. Especially from golden boy Jordy Nolan who was used to being showered with praise and compliments. The wordnousually evaporated from my vocabulary in his presence.
“Okay?” I repeated, trying not to radiate shock from my voice. “You’re fine with that?”
He tilted his head at me, and shrugged again. “I have to be. You can’t help it if you just… Don’t find me attractive.”
“Right,” I said, only because I didn’t know what else to say. I was pretty sure I’d lied so much in the last five minutes that if I tried anything else I’d get struck by lightning. “It’s not personal, okay? You know I think you’re a great person.”
“I know,” he answered lightly. When he smiled, just a tiny, slightly embarrassed one, I felt a trickle of relief. “I hope things won’t be awkward between us now or anything.”
“No,” I said quickly, shaking my head. “It doesn’t have to be like that. I don’t want it to be like that,” I added honestly.
“Well…” He wrung his hands together for a few seconds, glancing down toward the ground shyly. If he was actually feeling sheepish and embarrassed by all this, then maybe he really did believe that I was turning him down.
I couldn’t believe I’d actually done it. Despite how shitty and terrible it was that I had to hurt his feelings, I’d actually succeeded in convincing him that he couldn’t pursue me. I should have been given a fucking statue in the middle of the park for the level of self-sacrificing I’d demonstrated.
“What is it?” I prompted for him to finish his sentence.
“I just don’t want there to be any hard feelings,” he said.
“There aren’t,” I promised.
“I meant from me,” he clarified, a tiny smirk tugging up at the corner of his pouty mouth. He was so fucking cute, evendespite the fact that he was the one causing all my problems. It took a special level of internal masochism for that.
“Oh,” I answered, stumped. I wasn’t exactly sure what he was trying to say, or how I could fix it.
“Maybe…” He hesitated slightly, his cheeks tinted the softest, prettiest shade of pink that had ever existed. Raising his hand toward his forehead, he brushed a lock of pale blond hair away from his forehead, my eyes following the motion. His hands were so slender and delicate.
“Anything,” I said desperately, the word tumbling out of my mouth before I could stop it. His shy little glances and soft, embarrassed voice were ripping at my heartstrings. Why did I have to be born into a world where I had to turn down someone like him?
“Could I maybe just get a hug?” He requested, before pulling his plush lower lip between his teeth. “Just so I know that you don’t hate me or anything.”
