Page 47 of Sugar Rush
“Fine,” he said, though the way he was regarding me made it look like he kind of didn’t exactly trust me. Like I would risk pissing him off and sending him into a tantrum now, when I was so close to getting what I wanted. “Oh, one more thing,” he suddenly remembered, before unzipping his bag and reaching into it to extract Orangey. He tossed him to me, where I caught him out of reflex. “In case you want to take a nap or something.”
Shocked, and for once speechless, I didn’t know what to say. That burning-hot humiliated feeling I’d had back at the house in my room started to spread over my skin again.
“I said I didn’t need this,” I managed to grit out between my teeth.
He stared at me for a few moments, before raising his eyebrow. “Yeah, and that was a dumb lie. I know you better than that.”
I opened my mouth to deny it, but I couldn’t quite find the gumption. He was right that I’d been lying. But I was pretty sure he had to think I was a pathetic loser, still using a stuffed animal like a security blanket. He had to find it unattractive, even if he didn’t say anything about it when we were at home.
“Doesn’t it bother you?” I asked.
“No?” He answered incredulously, like he had no clue why I’d asked such a dumb question. “Why would I care about that?”
“I don’t know. I just… I don’t want you to think of me like…”
“Like a kid?” He finished, cocking his head.
I shrugged. This conversation was embarrassing, and I wasn’t winning any points in the seduction department.
“Yeah, even if I did think of you like that, which I don’t, I’m pretty sure that ship would have sailed around the time you started trying to undress me every time we’re alone.”
I pursed my lips, glancing up into a corner of the room. I had kind of been trying to do that. “So… You don’t think it’s weird or anything?”
“No,” he said. “You have quirks, and so do I. You know weird, embarrassing shit about me, too.”
“Are you saying that because I looked at your porn history?”
He groaned, pressing his palms into his eyes. “Don’t bring that up again, or I’m going to kill you.”
“Sorry.”
When he turned around to head out the door, I let out a little whine, prompting him to turn around.
“I don’t get a kiss?” I wondered, even though I knew I was being annoying when he had to leave. I expected him to complain or at least grumble, but to my surprise he looked a bitsheepish and apologetic before trudging back over and planting a quick kiss on my lips.
“Sorry,” he murmured, before rushing out the door, and then he was gone.
Blinking in surprise, I stood there for a minute, staring at the closed door, clutching Orangey to my chest.
Okay, so maybe my pep talk in the truck had been more effective than I’d realized. Or maybe he’d just been waiting for some kind of permission to start treating me like something other than his stepbrother. Even though I’d given him that permission before, maybe it felt different now that we weren’t at risk of getting caught.
Because I was feeling uncomfortably sticky in several awkward places, I made quick use of the little shower by rinsing off. Once I’d finished with that and made my way back into the room, I noticed I had a text from my dad asking how I was. After assuring him that we’d made it in one piece, and that I’d be spending the day doing the pre-approved and previously discussed activities, I plopped down onto the bed on my stomach, hugging one of the plush pillows. Seeing my dad’s text reminded me of the conversation I’d had with Dani the other night, the one I’d conveniently not mentioned to Kieran.
After the threatening texts that had mentioned a party, I’d waited for him to go to bed and then texted Dani asking if Andrew was there. She’d confirmed that he was, and that he’d even asked her about me. Apparently he’d asked if I was seeing anyone, and Dani had told him that I kind of was. Which was technically sort of true. I didn’t know any other way to phrase it. But since then, I hadn’t gotten any weird texts so maybe he’d given up.
I hadn’t told Kieran any of that. If he asked me, I wouldn’t lie to him about it, but I didn’t see a point in ruining the trip by bringing up something that we basically already knew anyway.
Especially because we were kind of already starting on a pretty good note. I was surprised that he’d agreed to myexperimentsuggestion so easily, but maybe I’d just been doing a great job of wearing him down at home… Even if it didn’t exactly seem that way.
It was hard trying to understand what was going on in his head, especially because getting him to actually talk about it in anything other than the vaguest terms available in the English language seemed like an impossible task. And I couldn’t make it obvious that I was trying to figure him out, or he’d balk and skitter off like a startled rabbit.
For a moody and broody tattooed tough guy, he seemed to have an awful lot of feelings.
Sighing, I opened up my laptop and navigated to some of the economics precourse work I had to get done. Might as well try to do something productive, seeing as I’d been made to promise to remain a prisoner in the room unless otherwise accompanied by a mature and responsible adult.
The fact that my dad considered Kieran more of a responsible adult than me was kind of laughable. I was more mentally and emotionally mature than my stepbrother on any given day of the week. It was a little irritating, but in the long run that attitude would probably work out in my favor. My dad seeing Kieran as a protective and responsible symbol in my life could only be a good thing for us if we ended up actually getting together in a serious and public way.
After an indeterminate amount of time of familiarizing myself with economic indicators, business cycles, and the long-term consequences of stabilization policies, another text from my dad came through.
