Page 63 of Sugar Rush
He let out a squealy little gasp, his wide eyes regarding me with shock, but I could tell he loved getting tossed around.
We’d always been in sort of a rush every time we’d hooked up, and I was now suddenly and uncomfortably aware that I’d never really taken much time or care with him when we had. Not that he’d ever complained.
Of course he’d never complained. He seemed happy with whatever scrap of myself I could give to him in the moment, before I had to retreat to avoid revealing too much. He should have hated me, but he didn’t. He wouldn’t. He was like this perfect constant in my life, someone I could always go to if I needed.
And when I’d finally allowed myself to let out a little bit of that feeling of unworthiness that was always lurking in my blood like a toxin, he’d just looked at me like I’d spouted out some alien concept he couldn’t understand. Did he really not care that I’d likely never be as successful as him? Didn’t he want an alpha that could take care of him, that he’d be proud to show off?
But none of that was new knowledge. He knew that I’d never be able to work arealjob, as I’d heard it called by so many people criticizing me. I’d never be able to clock in at an office and spend the day typing away on spreadsheets and emails. Ineededto make art, it was the only way I could make the world even a tiny bit better.
He knew I was screwed up, at least the little bit I’d shown him. I’d woken him up in the most humiliating, pathetic way possible, whimpering from a fucking nightmare, and he was still staring at me with all that lust and infatuation. He didn’t know everything about me yet, but with all he did know… He wasn’t going anywhere.
The painful, disgusting feeling of hope trickled into my awareness again, like it had in the truck. I couldn’t push it away this time.
That fragile little bubble floating around in my consciousness was scarier than any fucking nightmare I’d ever conjured up.
JORDY
KIERAN HOVERED OVERme, staring down at me with this intense expression that made me feel like I was melting into the bedsheets. My eyes had adjusted to the dark room, the streetlight in the parking lot filtering in through the blinds to illuminate him just enough to make my brain all fuzzy.
He hadn’t let me take off his shirt before, but he’d pulled it over his head after he’d flipped me around and tossed me onto the mattress like I didn’t weigh a single pound. I reached up to run my hands down his firm chest, trailing my fingers over his carved abs, dipping them into the deep V lines on his hips.
He shuddered, intercepting my touch before I could wrap my fingers around his thick cock where it hung stiff and heavy between his thighs.
Pushing my hands back up so they rested on the pillow on either side of my head, he gave me another one of those looks. My dick gave a hopeful twitch as I registered how much he wanted me. He wasn’t denying himself, or me, anymore.
He slipped his palm under my skull, holding my head still and covering my mouth with his, slicking his tongue over mine when my lips automatically parted. Whimpering, I snaked my arms around his shoulders, holding his body as close to mine as I could. His hard cock was burning hot against my thigh, and my hole clenched with the need to have it in me.
“Do you think you could knot in me again?” I murmured, panting when he finally released my lips. To my extreme satisfaction, he lightly groaned, his hips moving just the tiniestbit against me, like my question had activated some mental command in his brain to fuck.
“You want me to?” He asked, the sexy rasp in his voice not quite disguising the shock or how much it turned him on.
“Of course,” I answered, gliding my hands back up to his face, holding his jaw so he couldn’t look away from me. “I was made to take your knot.”
His breath rushed out in a huff, a tiny groan catching in his throat like he’d choked on it. He broke free of my hold on him, lowering his face to my chest.
“Why do you have to say shit like that?” He muttered, before scraping his teeth over my nipple, laving his tongue over it to soothe the slight sting.
“Why, you don’t agree with me?” I wondered, biting down on my lower lip and whimpering as the tip of his tongue teased the sensitive bud over and over until I could feel it in the base of my dick. “You think I should see if I like someone else’s knot more?”
He froze, a growl rumbling up from his chest. “Don’t even fucking joke.”
“I’m just teasing you,” I said, trying not to laugh so he wouldn’t feel my abdominal muscles jerking around under him, which would only piss him off more. But his jealousy was so cute and sexy and just… So Kieran. He viewed that possessive part of himself as a flaw, but I couldn’t get enough of it. “You know I only want you.”
The tension in his body ebbed a little at my words, like he was relieved and happy to hear me reiterate that point. It was really odd, because I loved teasing him and getting him riled up. But I was also starting to become addicted to the feeling of soothing and reassuring him.
He was so damn stubborn, blowing off and invalidating my feelings about him because he was sure I didn’t really know what I wanted. But seeing the way his face had looked andhow tortured his voice had sounded when he’d been insisting I should be dating some wealthier, more successful alpha… I felt like I could understand him more now. He didn’t want to believe that we could really be together, because he didn’t want to get hurt if I really did decide on someone else. I wished I could just make him feel what I felt, and then he’d never doubt me or our future together.
“And you only want me, right?” I prompted as he moved down my body, leaving burning hot open-mouthed kisses along my torso.
“You know I do,” he muttered into my hipbone, almost so quiet I couldn’t hear him. I shivered from the feeling of his breath on me, trying not to buck up into his touch. I was so hard, twitching and whimpering and waiting for what he would do next. “You want to know what I love about fucking you?” He voiced, moving even further down my body until he’d nudged up my thighs, pressing them up into my chest, his face hovering right over my crotch. The feeling of his strong hands clutching me there, just under the backs of my knees felt stupidly erotic.
“W-what?” I asked, flushing as I heard my voice crack through my heavy panting. I felt a thick drop of precum ooze out of my dick and drip out onto my stomach, electric anticipation arcing through my blood. I didn’t know if he wanted to suck me off or eat me out or what, but I’d been the lucky recipient of getting off by Kieran James enough times to know that I wanted it.
“I’m the only one that’s ever had you. It’s like you’re all for me.”
Reaching down to where he gripped me, I gave his hands a quick squeeze with mine. “You know it can be like that forever, right?”
He swallowed hard, so audibly that it crackled along the air in the otherwise silent room. His fingers jerked and twitched under mine, clenching on the backs of my thighs.
