Page 91 of Sugar Rush
But even if he felt that way, like it wasn’t a big deal and he wouldn’t make me feel uncomfortable, my heart was still smacking up into my ribs with apprehension and stress.
Kieran was actually going to kill me. Or him. Probably him.
With the bright lights searing into my eyes and my nerves coming to an absolute boil in my blood, all I could do was stand quietly and await my fate.
KIERAN
“YOU DONE WITHthose drawings, kid?” Barbie asked, sidling up behind me as I pored over my tablet. I didn’t have any clients scheduled, and we didn’t have any walk-ins. As a result, she’d thought it was the perfect use of productivity for me to draw up some quick and simple ideas for a Friday the 13th flash sale special we’d be running the next week.
“No,” I grumbled, setting it down on the desk with a thump. “I can’t concentrate. I’m sorry.”
She heaved a dramatic sigh, but looked somewhat amused as she nudged my chair so it twirled around and I was facing her. “What now, princess?”
“Cut it out,” I growled, planting my feet on the ground so I could swivel away from her searching eyes. “I’m not in the mood.”
“This is about Goldilocks, right? Like always?”
“What?” I snapped, glaring down at the desk. “You don’t think I have any other problems in my life?”
“Well, do you?” She countered.
I didn’t know how to answer without sounding pathetic, so I just didn’t say anything.
“You know we’re dead right now, Kieran. I don’t have anything else to do but bug you until you talk about it.”
“Why do you care so much?” I asked sharply, which I knew wasn’t fair. But when I turned around to face her, preparing to apologize for my tone, she was only giving me a comically wry expression.
“I remember what it was like when I met my wife,” she mused. “It’s unfamiliar and scary and everything feels bigger than it is. I know,” she reiterated. “But it gets better.”
“Jordy isn’t my wife,” I deadpanned.
“No, he’s your precious littleangel,” she retorted. “That’ssodifferent.”
Scoffing, I rolled my eyes and ignored the heat suffusing my face. I should never have explained the context for the tattoo he’d gotten.
“Anyway, how would you know if it’s going to get better forme?”
“I know parts of it are going to get better,” she assured me. “Once you bite him, anyway.”
My stomach tensed, my jaw clenching for a brief moment before I forced myself to relax and act like her words hadn’t sent a shock wave of pure horror, excitement, and misery rocketing through my senses by way of my ears.
“That’s- I… Don’t say shit like that,” I ordered, but I could feel heat rising up to color my skin. “That doesn’t have anything to do with this.”
“Kieran, you’ve been moody and restless and distracted. Maybe your beta parents don’t get what’s up with you, but I know.”
My heart and my pulse were suddenly racing, and for a moment all I could do was swallow.
“How would it…” I stopped, inhaling deeply. “Even if he wanted me to… How would it help?”
“There’s a calmness that comes with it. You won’t get so mad, and you won’t worry so much,” she explained. “You’re telling me you don’t know any mated couples?”
“Not that I’ve ever talked about this stuff with,” I muttered, embarrassed. I knew how it was in books and movies, but that stuff was designed to make love seem like this great andwonderful thing. Well, it wasn’t always great and wonderful for me.
“Well, I’m talking to you about it now,” she said, finally pulling up the little chair I had across the room and setting it down backwards, plopping into it so she could rest her arms over the back and stare at me pityingly. “I didn’t know you needed it. I thought you were on drugs for a minute there,” she reminded me.
“I know,” I said flatly. Drugs were less addictive and would have been easier to quit than Jordy, anyway.
“What exactlyisstopping you?” She wondered, and I could tell she didn’t mean anything insulting by it. She genuinely didn’t understand why I hadn’t tried to mark someone like Jordy Nolan. I wanted to laugh and scream and burn down a building.
