Page 134 of Not In The Contract
Almost.
“Over there!” Tamera made a beeline for the humongous tree she’d spotted, the basket knocking her calf as she hurried along.
I was out of breath by the time I’d caught up, shaded sublimely beneath the giant branches.
“It’s probably ridden with ants or something.” I took one end of the blanket and waited for Tam to pick up the other. “There has to be a reason why this spot’s free on a day like today.”
We ballooned the blanket high in the air and let it billow to the soft grass, Tam immediately working to set up our picnic.
“Perfect spot for the perfect day. Just accept the good fortune for what it is, Dev.”
I sniggered at the sheer amount of food we’d brought. We unpacked and kept unpacking with seemingly no end to it.
“Should I call everyone else over to help us get through all this?” I teased, eyeing the array of snacks that took up most of the blanket.
Tam was on one corner, me on the other, and the rest of the space had become officially edible.
“Hey, we can’t risk anyone going hungry, right?” She shrugged. “Let’s see how far we get, then I say we make a few new friends.”
Her laughter filled the air and I soon joined in. I felt instantly lighter and more carefree, ready to relish the nothing of the day ahead. The sun warmed our skin and the soft breeze rustled the leaves overhead. The park’s lively atmosphere seeped into me, and I found myself relaxing into it.
‘Nothing’ sounded like a slice of heaven in that moment, considering what I was coming from. Not only was I feeling the pressure mounting from Paula as I wrapped up my thesis, but there was also the obvious elephant in every room.
Tamera leaned back on her elbows, looking at me with a telltale glint in her eye. “So, have you heard from Alex?”
I nearly choked on a grape, coughing as I tried to regain my composure. “Alex? Why do you ask?”
She raised an eyebrow, that mischievous smile playing on her lips. “Oh, come on, Dev. This is me. You don’t have to pretend she hasn’t been the one thing on your mind day and night.”
I attempted a nonchalant shrug but was sure I didn’t sell it. “That’s neither here nor there. And to answer your question, no. I haven’t heard from her, and I don’t think I’m going to.”
Tamera’s eyes softened as she regarded me. “You know you can talk to me about this stuff, right? You don’t have to spare me because you think I’m busy, or whatever.”
My shoulders sagged a little. “I know, Tam. It’s just… complicated. Alex has her life, her family, and I don’t think there’s room for anything else right now. Adding me into the mix will likely cause her more stress than she needs, and she’s clearly decided against that.”
“What about your life? Your happiness?” She nudged me playfully.
I bit my lip, hesitating before admitting, “I’ll get there. And it starts by not dumping on my best friend every time I’m feeling low. You have your own stuff.”
She noticed the way I deliberately looked away to fiddle with a thread on the blanket. How my voice suddenly went low.
“And by stuff, you mean Katya.” She read my thoughts again. “Look, just so you know, your open avoidance doesn’t help the guilt I feel.”
My head snapped back toward her. “Guilt? What are you guilty about?”
“I know it’s stupid, but I’m happy and in love, and it feels like talking about that is insensitive or whatever. Which then makes you feel like I’m cutting you out of that part of my life, which I definitely don’t want.”
I reached across the mounds of food to take her hand. “I don’t want that either, Tam. You don’t need to feel bad about any of it. You deserve to be happy. I love that you are, and I want to hear all about it.”
She gave my hand a squeeze and smiled warmly. “Thanks, Dev. And I want to hear about what you’re going through, even if it’s not sunshine and roses.”
My eyes met hers and I saw the sincerity in her gaze. “I just wish I knew what Alex was thinking. I wish she’d breach this distance between us so we can talk. Mostly I wish I wasn’t so scared to make the first move.”
Tamera’s voice was gentle. “Maybe she’s feeling the same way. Maybe she’s just as scared as you are.”
I shook my head, a humorless laugh escaping my lips. “Alex? Scared? She’s a billionaire businesswoman who’s conquered half the world. I don’t think fear is in her molecular makeup.”
“Dev, fear is a universal language. Even the most successful people have their vulnerabilities. If you want to know what’s going on with her, then maybe it’s time to find out.”
