Page 130 of Not In The Contract
I shoved another dumpling into my mouth, feeling the weight of her encouragement. Her intentions were good, but they were stressing me.
“No.” It settled in my gut with certainty, the first time I’d felt that in a while. “I won’t be the one to cross the bridge. I need to be sure it’s what Alex wants, and for that to happen it has to be her. She has to come to me.”
“And if she does?”
“Then I’ll be waiting on the other side,” I replied, finding it hard to get the last of my dumpling past the lump in my throat.
“Or…” Tam waggled her eyebrows playfully. “You could explore other horizons. Get your mind off Alex once and for all.”
“What are you talking about?” I suddenly felt uneasy under the light of her mischievous grin.
“Oh, please, don’t think I didn’t notice the way Bijou was flirting with you earlier.”
I burst out laughing despite myself. “I’m up to my neck in relationship problems and you’re suggesting I go back for more?”
“Just letting you know there are options.” Tam winked at me.
“Speaking of Bijou…” I ventured once the laughter subsided. “She let something slip that tells me there’s a whole lot I’ve been missing out on.”
Her brows knitted together tightly, one cheek bulging with a considerable bite of egg roll. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Tam mumbled through her food.
“You’re a lot of things, Tam, but a good liar isn’t one of them,” I said, happy to have the spotlight shifted for the time being. “I thought your absence was because of work, but apparently you’ve been absent here too. So what’s the deal? Where have you been?”
Tamera’s eyes dropped to her lap, but there was no mistaking the wistful expression on her face. It reminded me of what I looked like not too long ago. When I was deeply enamored and basking in new love. Some unbidden thing clawed at my heart, but I pushed it aside. For now, at least.
“Tell me…” I rested a hand on her knee to get her to look at me. “I know things are all over the place with me, but I want to hear about your stuff. I want to know what’s happening with you.”
Her cheeks were flushed when she looked up at me finally. “What’s happening with me has been… pretty fucking amazing, actually.”
A wide smile spread across my face. “Katya?”
Tam nodded sheepishly. “Things are great, Devon. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, you know? It’s like she came out of nowhere and rocked my world.”
A pang of jealousy got mixed up with the genuine joy I felt for her. “That’s amazing, Tam! I’m so happy for you, I really am.”
“Thanks, and I’m sorry.” Her hand covered mine still on her knee. “I felt a little bad for-”
“What? Being happy?”
“I guess so,” she said, her voice low. “I mean, you’re going through all of this with Alex and here I am, love, laugh, living my best life with this incredible woman who makes me so damn happy, it’s sickening.”
“Don’t you dare,” I told her. “I’m here for all of it, like you’re always there for me. I need you to share this shit with me. Okay?”
Tam nodded and this time I was the one to go in with an assaulting embrace. Her happiness seemed to radiate from her pores and it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the twisting knot in my stomach.
I could only hope that I was doing the right thing by leaving the ball in Alex’s court. If she felt the same way our story would have a chance to continue. If not, I’d be waiting on the other side of this bridge, ready to face whatever came next.
44. Bridging Hearts
Alex
Thelightrapatmy office door got my attention and I looked up from my cell phone to find Katya smiling back at me.
“A bunch of us are getting pizzas before the board meeting.” It was a question hidden inside a statement, but also something else.
Katya knew better than anyone the week I’d been having, but instead of fussing about it she always had some excuse to come in here and make sure I wasn’t curled up in the fetal position. All without making me feel like she was encroaching on my personal space. I appreciated her kindness, as well as her willingness to respect my boundaries. There was no need to get into things and rehash whatever was going on with me. I got enough of that with the girls and didn’t need it at work too.
“That would be great, thanks.” She didn’t have to know there was no intention of eating lunch. My appetite hadn’t been around in days.
