Page 136 of Not In The Contract
She didn’t look back, but the way her movements froze told me she’d heard me loud and clear over the bustling park crowd around us. Then, slowly, Devon turned round on her knees and looked up at me. She stared at me for a moment, her expression a combination of shock and bewilderment. It looked like she was trying to decide whether I was actually real or just a mirage.
After several seconds passed, she seemed to land on a conclusion and nodded. “Hey, Alex.”
I stood there awkwardly, the tension between us palpable. Finally, I cleared my throat, my nerves almost getting the better of me. “You look like you’re leaving. I was about to ask if I could join…”
She hadn’t expected me to show up at all, let alone ask to join her picnic. It showed on her face, in the swirl of emotion behind her eyes. But after a brief pause, she nodded again, her lips parting as if she was about to say something.
She didn’t.
Her permission came through in the way she slowly started to undo the progress she’d made in repacking the picnic basket. I slid onto the blanket beside her, careful to keep from touching her. Every effort was made to appear as cool and collected as possible, despite my racing heart. She was as beautiful as ever in a pair of short shorts, sky blue racerback tank, and her luscious hair pulled up in a messy bun. The pulse point beneath her ear fluttered rapidly, giving away her internal state, and it was all I could do to keep from leaning in and pressing my lips to the sensitive area.
“Listen, Devon,” I began, my voice betraying a hint of the unease I was feeling, “I know this is unexpected, and you’re probably wondering why I’m here.”
She sat back on her knees, shoulders tight and her gaze cautious. “Yeah, I am.”
I took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. “First of all, I wanted to apologize. I realize that I’ve been distant, and I haven’t been fair to you.”
“Alex-”
“No, let me finish. Please.” We both stared at my hand, at the way it found itself covering hers.
Devon stayed silent, her thumb moving to gently stroke mine. “Okay, Alex. I’m listening.”
“I shouldn’t have let things get this far, this… complicated,” I explained. “I was wrong to let you walk away.”
Her eyes met mine again, searching to decipher the truth in what I was saying. “So, why now?”
I exhaled slowly, my gaze dropping for a moment. I was sure if I got lost in her eyes for too long I might sink and drown in the storm of emotions happening there.
“Your friend, Tamera, she… made something very clear to me. That I’ve hurt you. I can’t just stand by and let that be the way things are. Not when…” Some more of the truth—the most significant part of it—trailed off into nothing, and I let it.
Devon’s expression softened, a flicker of surprise crossing her features and knitting her brows together. “Tamera told you off?”
I chuckled softly, relieved that some semblance of humor was breaking through the tension. “More or less. She told me to get my act together, or else.”
Her lips curved into a small smile. “Well, I know Tam, and I wouldn’t wish that ‘or else’ on my worst enemy. She’s a force when she wants to be.”
“Yeah, she is,” I agreed, my gaze locking onto hers. “But there’s more to it. There’s more I need to tell you.”
Her brows furrowed but she quickly put on a straight face again. “About Jamie…” Her voice was soft, almost hesitant.
I’d been anxious to broach the topic of my sister with her, considering she was the reason Devon and I were in this situation at all. But she gave my hand a light squeeze and it helped me feel better about it.
“Jamie and I had a talk soon after you- around the time of her birthday.” I watched her face closely, but Devon wasn’t giving anything away. “I know she’s demanded a lot of my time and attention lately, and it made me feel like I had to choose between my only family and… well, everything else.”
“I’m sorry, Alex. I never meant to-”
“I know, Devon,” I shifted closer to her. Our thighs brushed together, sending a jolt of electricity coursing through me. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It was unfair to you, and it was unfair to me too.”
This last admission made her finally look up at me.
I smiled softly before going on. “I’ve realized that I can’t keep using Jamie as an excuse to keep from living my life. To stop myself from going for what I want. What makes me happy.”
“Which is…” Her heart was in her throat.
“Which is you, Devon. I want this. You… I’ve wanted you for a while, but I’ve been too… scared, I guess. Scared of messing up, of not being enough. But it’s been you. You’re what makes me happy. I’m so in love with you, it’s ridiculous. Going no contact with you has been hell.”
An elated laugh burst out of her and Devon teared up a little. “You took your sweet time getting here, then.”
