Page 23 of Mistletoed with the Mountain Man
"What do you want me to do? Arrest it?" Then Kade heads through the kitchen.
“Where are you going?” I yell.
“I’ll be right back,” he says from somewhere nearby, and returns with a broom. "Okay, just—stay there. I'll handle it."
"You'll handle it? What, with your tactical cleaning maneuvers?"
"Nia, I swear to god—" He approaches the chandelier slowly. "Come on, little guy. Let's get you outside."
The squirrel chatters at him, clearly unimpressed.
Kade creeps closer.
The squirrel makes a break for it, racing along the top of the bookshelf and launching itself at the Christmas tree in the great room.
"NO!" I yell, jumping off my chair to follow. "It's in the tree!"
We reach the great room just as the squirrel scrambles up through the branches, sending ornaments crashing to the floor. One of my carefully arranged ribbon cascades comes loose, unfurling like a sad party streamer.
"This is a disaster," I moan.
Kade circles the tree, broom at the ready like he's about to storm a meth lab. "How do we get it out?"
"I don't know! You're the trained police officer!"
"They didn't cover squirrel extraction at the academy!"
The creature perches on a high branch, grooming itself like it hasn't just destroyed an afternoon's work.
Then I remember. "The cookies."
"What?"
I run to the kitchen, grabbing the remaining pecan berry bursts. "Raccoons love my aunt's cookies, so maybe..."
I place a cookie near the base of the tree, then make a trail leading to the front door. Kade watches me like I've lost my mind, but he slowly opens the door, letting in a the cold air.
We wait.
And wait.
"I don’t think this is going to—" Kade starts.
Then the squirrel's nose twitches.
It descends the tree branch by branch, until it reaches the first cookie and nibbles experimentally.
"Don't move," I whisper.
It takes the cookie and scampers toward the next one. Then the next. Following the trail right out the front door and into the snowy woods.
Kade rushes over and slams the door shut.
We stare at each other.
Then we both collapse laughing.
I'm down on the hardwood, gasping for air. He's leaning against the wall, shoulders shaking.
