Page 26 of Neon Pestilence
“You’re wrong,” I growl, hatred seeping through my voice like poisoned honey.
Love is an infection, boy. Kill her, or she will kill you.
“You know nothing oflove,” I spit, no longer fearful of the voice. “You taught me nothing but hate. I was a boy who wanted safety, and you gave me chains. You called it love, but it was always ownership,” I scream, my body shaking.
“You told me mercy was an infection, but mercy is the only part of me you couldn’t kill. I see it every time I hesitate. Every time I wanted to save instead of destroy.” My heart is pounding now, almost louder than the bass beating from the DJ playing on stage. My breath fogs up my mask, making me feel claustrophobic. “And I fucking hate you for that.”
I reach toward my mask, gripping it in my palms. “You’re not God. You’re not my cure. You’re nothing but a pestilence in my brain.”
I rip the mask from my face. Removing another thing that has plagued me for thousands of years. A chain that I was handed on a golden platter, forced to keep on even through torture.
There’s no more hiding. My surrender to her is removing the armor that has left me untouchable for more years than I care to admit.
I breathe in deeply, breathing in the smoke-filled air like it’s the first time I’ve truly inhaled. Maybe it is. Maybe it’s the first breath I've taken as a man, free of the hold of his abuser. Free of his torment.
I grip the mask harder, the weight of it grounding me further. Solidifying my choice.
“S-Sir?” Mortella’s small voice brings me back to the present, my potential future with Indy, and I can’t help but smile.
She looks at me, mouth hung low in disbelief. “Sir, you-your mask. Don’t you need it?” She questions, concern dripping from her.
“Not after tonight, Mortella.” And I leave it at that.
No explanation.
No reasoning.
Just finality.
Chapter 26
Indy
Ipace outside of my tent, my finger lingering over the image of me and my best friend on Halloween last year.
Liseth. I have to call her and tell her. She’s the only true attachment I have to the outside world, and I need her to know the decision I’m making, even if it means breaking her heart in the process.
I breathe in deeply. No more coffee runs or late-night Taco Bell delivery. No more long nights screaming at sweaty boys on Call of Duty. Just Hallow Lands.
I count to three, close my eyes, and press down before raising the phone to my ear. My heart thumps so hard in my chest, I swear I’m going to have a heart attack.
“Hello?” Liseth’s voice fills my head.
I take a deep breath.
“Babe? Are you there? Is everything okay?” Her voice jumps three octaves, and I sigh.
“Hey, babes, I’m sorry. I’m here. Uh, listen, can we talk?”
My eyes burn as the tears pour over my lash line. My heart is a crumbling mess, barely hanging on as it teeters on the line of love and my relationship with my best friend.
“It’s okay, babes, don’t cry,” Liseth’s calm voice floats through the speaker. “Sometimes it’s hard to take a chance. It doesn’t mean you’re making the wrong decision. Life can be scary; it’s only when you feel something that you remember you’re alive.”
She doesn’t stutter, all the confidence of someone who’s lived seeping through the phone. “If he makes you feel something, stay.” She pauses, as if she’s thinking over her next words carefully.
“Everything happens for a reason. And you never know what that reason is until it’s staring you straight in the face. Take the chance, or you might regret it.” Her voice falters on the last few words, her pain seeping through the phone for a split second.
“I love you,” I whisper to her, hoping she believes me.
