Page 31 of Enigma: The Final Chapter
Guilt makes it hard for me to secure a full breath. “I shouldn’t have asked that question. I shouldn’t have forced you to share. I’m sorry, Isaac.”
He pulls me back by the shoulders, the pain in his eyes doubling when he spots the tears cascading down my face. He treks his fingers across my cheeks, removing my tears before locking his eyes with mine. “Instead of being sorry, I need you to remember I was hurting when I made my next decision. When I made it, I never thought someone like you would come into my life. I never thought I'd have these feelings again.”
Pain maims my heart from peering into his unguarded eyes. He's the most vulnerable I’ve ever seen—unguarded, open, and raw.
“Promise me you won’t run.”
“I’ll never run from you.”I’m tired of running.
“Promise me.” His eyes relay his command is more of a plea.
The ache in my heart amplifies. “I promise. Whatever it is, we’ll survive it. We can survive anything.”
We’ve already survived death threats, a deranged stalker, two arrests, an alleged affair, and a kidnapping. If we can survive that, we can survive anything.
He lifts my hands to his mouth and kisses each palm before placing them over his heart. “I love you, too,” I reply, finally intuiting what his gesture means.
The last time he spoke those three words, the woman he loved died, so I understand and accept he may never articulate that he loves me, but his actions will more than make up for it.
“When Ophelia died, no one knew about the baby, only me.” He looks up at me, “And now you.”
My heart warms, pleased he trusts me enough to share guarded secrets.
“I never wanted to experience that type of loss ever again, so I took measures to ensure there were no possibilities of it happening again.”
My brows furrow, confused by his statement.
It takes a few moments staring into his remorseful eyes for lucidity to hit.
Oh, my God.“You're sterile?”
“Yes,” Isaac replies with a curt nod of his head. “That’s how I met Jae and Avery. Jae refused to do the procedure until I underwent an extensive psychiatric assessment since I was under the age of twenty-two and not a father. Avery was the doctor assigned to my case. Several heated arguments later, and the procedure was completed according to my wishes.”
We sit across from each other, staring, but not speaking. I try to formulate a response to his confession, but I’m stumped on how to reply. Am I hurt he kept this from me? That’s a tough question. Half of me says yes, he should’ve been upfront and honest from the beginning, but the other half says no because it doesn’t change the way I feel about him. And if I’m totally honest, even if I knew from the very beginning, nothing would have kept me away from him.
I wasn’t raised by my father, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t loved. My Uncle Tobias was a wonderful man with a ginormous heart. He loved me enough that I didn’t need anyone in my life but him. Also, what Hugo said weeks ago is true. Family doesn’t necessarily mean people who are blood-related. It’s the people you choose to be a part of your family who are the most important.
I capture Isaac’s cheeks in my hands and stare into his hardened eyes. “Thank you for being honest with me, but it doesn’t change anything between us. There are thousands of children in the world who need a loving family. One day, if we decide we want to have a family, there are plenty of options available for us. If not, I get to keep you all to my greedy self.” I say the last sentence over-dramatically, wanting to wash away the worry marring his handsome face.
He laughs and firms his grip on my waist. “There's only one greedy orifice in your body, Isabelle. It isn’t your heart.”
I screw up my nose and stick out my tongue, immaturely denying his bold statement. When I feel him stiffening beneath me, I realize his declaration is entirely accurate. I can’t help it. I'm beyond being helped when it comes to him. My body craves his touch, his attention—every inch of him.
I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing. Our sexual chemistry isn’t our only connection. If it were, we wouldn’t have made it over all the hurdles we’ve endured the past few months. We would have cut our losses and moved on, deciding it wasn’t worth the effort, but we both know our relationship is worth the sacrifices we ‘ve sustained, and we’ll only grow from here.
“You have two questions left,” Isaac says, breaking me from my thoughts.
I purse my lips while trying to think of a less imposing question than my last. He waits impatiently, tapping his index fingers on my backside.
“What’s the longest period you’ve gone without sexual contact?”
The instant the question escapes my lips, I want to ram it back down my throat. Jealousy has always been a curse of mine. Just thinking about him with another woman has my claws out and ready to be sharpened.
Isaac coughs to clear his throat. “What’s the longest we’ve been separated?”
“Thirty-four days.”Thirty-four days of pure, gut-wrenching hell.
His shoulders square. “Thirty-four days.”
