Page 19 of Just Playin'
With a groan, I raise my head off the pillow and shift my eyes to the bag I dumped next to my spew bucket. It’s not a standard grocery bag. It’s a little smaller and a bit thicker. While blowing a strand of curly brown hair from my eyes, I gather the bag in my hands. It feels heavier now that it did when I stomped it across the room, probably because I have my elbow propped on my mattress.
When I pull open the stapled bag and peer inside, a long, sickening sob tears from my throat. The contents inside should be a godsend to a woman in my condition, but it’s knowing only one person in the world could have purchased these for me that has me whining. They’re products to alleviate gas, stomach cramps, and the many other bodily functions I endured last night. There’s even a packet of gum and a scented candle.
I flop back onto my bed, my hand darting up to cover my mortified eyes. This is ten times worse than when Tracy Skulski broke wind halfway through our routine at a dance competition when we were in kindergarten. It took eight years for her to live down her infamous Stinky Skulski nickname. I don’t want to be called Windy Willow until I’m thirty. It might have been cute when I was three, but no one over the age of thirteen wants a nickname—not a farting one, anyway.
The bag landing on the floor with a thud coincides with my room door being flung open so forcefully it indents the drywall.
“Oh my fucking gawd!” Skylar saunters across the room, her hips swaying like she didn’t drag her ass out of bed four hours ago to start her day doing boxing with a hottie all the girls at our college clamber out of bed at 5 AM to ogle.
I’d usually be there with bells on as well, but I’m dying, remember?
“You’re an internet sensation! You’re everywhere.TMZ,The Late Show, you even had a feature onGood Morning Americathis morning.”
“W-w-what?” My stammering heart is heard in my reply. “What do you mean?”
“Your video is everywhere.” She plants her backside on the edge of my bed, her nose screwing up when the duvet riles up the smell circling the vomit bucket. “Over two million views every hour.”
“An hour?!” I shoot up so fast, my head grows woozy. “Which video? Does Todd know? We were just playing; it was never supposed to go viral.” My words come out in such quick succession, even I have a hard time understanding them.
“Todd?” Skylar takes a moment to read the confusion in my eyes before shooing it away with a wave of her manicured hand. “Not your dancing videos, silly, the one from last night.”
“Last night?” I swallow numerous times in a row, my mouth suddenly burning. “Someone took a video of last night?”
Not spotting my wide eyes and panting chest, Skylar nods. “Uh-huh. There are multiple copies, but this one is getting the most attention—it has the best angle. Don’t worry, even under the circumstances, you look as sexy as sin.”
Images of Elvis’s head hanging out the window with a plugged nose flash before my eyes.How could that ever be considered sexy?
“Here. Look. This video alone has twenty-three million views.”
She swivels her iPhone screen my way. I suck in my first breath in nearly a minute when I realize the video isn’t about theincidentthat occurred last night. Well, it is, just not the one where I farted in front of God’s gift to women. It’s my verbal altercation with the drunken idiot at the football stadium.
“Someone recorded the entire event and uploaded it to YouTube, making you an overnight internet sensation.”
My shocked gaze dances between Skylar’s bright baby blues. “A sensation? Or. . .” I leave my question open for her to answer how she sees fit.
“Sensation. . .” She screws up her nose. “For the most part.”
“What does that mean?” My voice is too high and too loud for a woman on her death bed.
Skylar runs her hand down my sweaty arm in comfort. “Most of the comments are good, but you know what some keyboard warriors are like.” She scrolls through the thousands of comments displayed under the now still video. “There’s a handful of people not happy you retaliated, then a few who agree with the tosser.”
Her use of one of my favorite Aussie slang words lightens the tension between us.
“A majority are with you, Willow. The praise far exceeds the occasional gripe.”
She scrolls slowly, allowing me to see a handful of the comments.
Betsy2517– You showed him, girl!
KateMBrimginton21– I didn’t think superheroes existed anymore until I stumbled upon this movie. Whoever this woman is, she’s the new Wonder Woman.
MarcsInTown– Call me. I want to prove not all men are like him. You’re so fucking beautiful, I get hard every time I imagine what your lips taste like.
My eyes rocket to Skylar after reading the last one.
She laughs at my shocked expression. “That’s one ofmanyinvitations. Last count was thirteen proposals, fifty-eight requests for a date, and you don’t want to know how many are praying for a booty call. That dry spell you’ve been having the past three years is about to become the Nile.”
“I can’t go out with these men.”
