Page 104 of Rum & Coke
Her smile hadn’t faded. “I go and be right back.”
When Valentina came back thirty minutes later, she motioned for me to follow her up the stairs. At the top, she handed me a brown paper bag.
“Thank you,” I said. “Can you keep an eye on Colt?”
“Si. Hurry because Mr. Delarosa will be home very soon and if I need to make him a cake for the good news—”
“It won’t be good news,” I told her.
“Si, it will, cariño. A baby will bring Mr. Delarosa so much joy.”
I didn’t respond as I took the bag into the bathroom. How could she think this was okay? She had to know I didn’t want a baby, especially with Sebastian. Especially with the man who wouldn’t let me go outside except to swim in his backyard.
After I nervously peed on the applicator, I waited and waited and waited. I couldn’t time the wait because I had no watch, no phone, nothing in the bathroom and I didn’t want to leave until I knew for sure. So, I waited some more, and it killed me. It was worse than the first time I took a pregnancy test after my night with Scott. Then, my only worry had been finding Scott to tell him I was pregnant. But now, how would I raise a child with a drug dealer? How would it turn out? How was Colton going to turn out if I didn’t find a way to escape? Would Sebastian force them into the drug business?
Finally, I thought enough time had passed. I picked the test up off the counter and took a deep breath before I focused on the two lines on the screen. In an instant, my world stood still, the silence of the small room echoing in my ears. This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t happeningagain. This wasn’t happening with a drug dealing murderer who took pleasure from unwilling participants.
But it was.
And since I chugged a bunch of water while I’d waited for Valentina to get back from the store, I was able to take all three tests that came in the three pack she’d bought. They were all positive. After I read the third one, I crumpled to the floor and cried and cried and cried until I couldn’t breathe. I cried until there was a knock on the door.
“Cariño, it’s me.”
I didn’t respond as more tears escaped my eyes.
“Ms. Tessa, are you okay?”
No, I wasn’t. I’d never be okay again. It was hard enough being a single parent, but I knew I was raising Colton right. I might not have had thenormaljob of most mothers, but we were good. Now we were mixed up in drugs, and if I didn’t find a way to escape, both of my children would grow up in this life. The only saving grace would be if they didn’t follow in Sebastian’s footsteps, but I knew that if we stayed, they would.
“Please, cariño. I help you.”
Even though Valentina spoke broken English, I could still hear the sincerity in her voice. I got up off the tiled floor and unlocked the door. I handed the last test to her. “I’m pregnant.”
Her face brightened. “This makes me so happy.”
“I’m not.” I sniffed.
“Cariño, the Lord works in mysterious ways. He puts children on this earth for a reason.”
“Don’t you see I’m hurting? That I don’t want this?”
“Si, but Mr. Delarosa will make sure you and your children never go without.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the doorframe. “Why?”
She blinked. “Because he takes care of what’s his.”
“And you’re okay with himowningus?” There was no other way to put it. I was no longer a person. I was a prisoner, a slave, a hostage. And while Sebastian hadn’t hit me or anything, the emotional pain I felt outweighed any bodily pain I’d ever felt in my life.
“Without him, I would be homeless.”
“I wouldn’t be.”
“Yes, you would. He gave you a job. You danced for him.”
I stared at her while her words sunk in. Yes, he was my boss. He allowed me to dance and make money, but did that mean that, in turn, I owed him because I’d been able to provide for my small family? In what world was that okay? “If I had known it would turn out like this, I would’ve danced somewhere else.”
“That may be true, cariño, but you didn’t.”
