Page 1 of Angels & Whiskey
March 9th
I never thoughtI’d see a day where my world was more consumed by one person than by serving my country.
My life was set to follow in my grandfather’s footsteps. It was my destiny. I’d forgotten he’d met my grandmother while serving in Vietnam, so I should have known I would meet my future wife while serving in Afghanistan.
“You gotta girl back home we don’t know about, Cap?”
I glanced from the computer screen to First Lieutenant Paul Jackson as he spoke and then to Cochran, who was sitting across the room. The moment I’d laid eyes on Cochran when she joined my crew, I had no idea she’d become my first love.
For a few seconds, I watched as Cochran laughed with Stone, her fellow medic. “Something like that,” I murmured, turning back to the website on the computer that was allowing me tosecretlydesign an engagement ring for her. I was Specialist Cochran’s Captain, and because of military regulations, no one could know we had been dating for nine months and that I wanted to make her my wife.
My life’s plan had always been to work my way through the ranks until I was no longer breathing. But now I wanted to be with Cochran and spend the rest of my life making her happy. It was hard not being able to kiss her whenever I wanted—to touch her as she walked by or hold her hand. I felt like a stalker; always secretly watching her.
“Why are you designing an engagement ring?” he asked, interrupting my thoughts.
I looked over my right shoulder at him. “Are you a moron, LT?” I chuckled.
“I just didn’t know you gotta girl is all.” He shrugged, still peering over my shoulder and looking at the computer screen.
“Well, I do.” I glanced to Cochran again and then back to the computer before Jackson noticed. “Get out of my hair and go check your gear before Major Dick rips you a new asshole.”
“You don’t have any.” He laughed, looking at my bald head.
“I like it that way, Lieutenant. Now fuck off.” I ran my hand over my bald head. I’d been losing my hair for a few years, so I finally said fuck it and shaved it all off. Cochran thought it looked sexy on me. I was his Captain, but we were like brothers and even had that brotherly banter. Honestly, he was the closest friend I had on base, so it was no wonder he was questioning me about my love life.
“You know I’m going to get you to show me naked pictures of her.”
“In your dreams, P.J. Now really, fuck off.”
“All right,” he huffed. “By the way, the gear’s good, Cap. But I feel ya. I’ll leave you to your girly shit.” He laughed again then slapped me on the back and left to join the rest of the crew. They were binge watchingLostwhile we waited for any MEDEVAC (medical evacuation) calls.
I was tired of the war. I never thought I’d say that. For as long as I could remember, I’d wanted to be an American hero. Not anymore.
I’d already completed two tours and as soon as my third was done, so was I. I didn’t want to be in the sand anymore. I didn’t want to hear gunfire in the distance twenty-four-seven. I didn’t want to have that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach on a MEDEVAC call as we potentially stepped into the line of fire.
I wanted Alyssa Cochran—on a beach in Hawaii.
I wantedto wake up next to her and see her blue eyes sparkle while the sun rose.
I wantedto see her blonde hair fanned across my pillow.
I wantedto be with her openly.
I wantedher as my wife.
Cochran rose from her seat on the couch and I minimized the computer screen. I glanced at her a few times as she made her way across the room, trying not to be obvious that I was watching her. She brushed her finger along the bridge of her nose.Our sign.I tried to hide my smile as I saved my design in my online account on the computer, then erased my browser history and closed the window. I couldn’t wait to have her in my arms.
I made my way down the hall, pretending to need the latrine. I looked over my shoulder and when I saw no eyes on me, made my way through the door across the hall where Cochran was waiting.
“Have I ever told you that I love a man in uniform?” she whispered, grabbing my arm and pulling me into a vacant room.
I closed the door behind me. “I’ll make sure to keep my uniform after this tour.” I wrapped her in my arms, holding her as if it were our last day together. I hated the whole situation: the sneaking around, not being able to kiss her whenever I wanted, not being able to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie.
“Good.” She smiled as I leaned down and kissed her soft lips enjoying the faint taste of cherry Chapstick.
Taking her hand, I led her to one of the cots and sat in the center, pulling her down to sit on my lap. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she leaned into me. “What were you and Stone laughing about earlier?” I asked, then took a breath of her scent. She always smelled like vanilla … warm vanilla sugar.
She leaned her head back and gave me a wicked smirk. “I can’t tell you. You’re my Captain.”
