Page 34 of Angels & Whiskey
He poured a shot of vodka, downed it, then proceeded to make himself a vodka martini. I had to turn my back, fearing he’d see my watery eyes. I opened the oven, checking on the pork chops.
“What’s for dinner?” he asked.No, I’m sorry. No, I’m an asshole. Nothing.
“Pork chops and salad,” I replied.
He walked over, martini in hand, and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “I’m going to go change.”
And just like that, Dr. Jekyll was back.
While we ate dinner, I told Rich of Lea and my plans for his party. We went over the guest list. He wanted to invite as many people as we could fit in the house, and the invitations were to say that it would be a black tie affair.
As we lay in bed, both reading, Rich glanced over at me and asked, “You’re still ovulating, right?”
I looked over at him. “Yes.” I was ovulating, but given that I was still taking the pill, I knew it didn’t matter.
“Good.” He set his ereader down on his nightstand then rolled over, facing me. “I want to make love to my wife,” he stated, running a finger down my arm and staring at my dark purple bruises.
Of course, I had no say in the matter. He would take what he wanted no matter what I wanted. But “make love” Rich was only around once in a blue moon and my emotions were all over the place. I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to be with the man I fell in love with and not the one who I feared.
I smiled at him, goose bumps pricking my arm where he stroked. “Mr. Jones, are you trying to seduce me into having your baby?”
“Is it working?” He smiled.
No.“Maybe,” I smirked, playing my naïve role.
His hand brushed over my flat belly and under my T-shirt, inching upward toward my breasts. “I’m gonna taste your pussy. Get you so relaxed that your eggs will be distracted and my little guys will find their way past the wall. You’re gonna have my baby, Autumn. One way or another, we’re gonna be one bighappyfamily.”
His words did something to me at that moment. Usually, I’d be turned on by his sweetness, but I caught a glimpse of one of the bruises on my right arm as I peered down at him, and the pain in my heart resurfaced. Rich was anything but sweet. He was a snake and a liar. He didn’t want to please me to satisfy me. He wanted to please me in hopes that he’d create a child. Maybe he read online that it was worth trying to get me relaxed and opened up. Maybe someone told him.
If the asshole only knew.
I knew the pill wasn’t one-hundred percent effective, but if God wanted me to have this man’s baby, then it was meant to be. I wasn’t a very religious person, but I knew that God knew what he was doing. He wouldn’t want to put a child in harm’s way—would he?
Rich massaged my breast, caressing it in his palm, and I moaned, faking my response. I tried to tell myself that this was the man who got me wet. Not the one from last night, but the one who cared for my body. I needed to fake my body out. I knew I couldn’t fake my mind, but my body only knew touch and was easily swayed.
His finger traced my nipple, making it pucker. My deceiving pussy started to moisten at the anticipation and I knew I needed to give in and enjoy myself. Last night’s pleasure was because of Gabe …
My mind trailed off as I thought about Gabe. I was trying to remind myself that I got off the night before because of Gabe and not because I enjoyed my husband’s touch. I couldn’t enjoy a touch that could be gentle one minute and the next capable of hurting me.
“You know I don’t want to hurt you,” he confessed.
I looked down to his face that was eye level with my stomach. Confused wouldn’t even be the correct word to describe how I was feeling at his words. He’d never addressed the bruises before, and he’d certainly never apologized.
“I really do love you, princess. I’m sorry I get angry, but work is stressful. And when someone I trust tells me that he’s seen you with someone I don’t know or someone that I didn’t know you’re with, I get pissed. I know you fear me. I can see it in your eyes.”
I swallowed hard. I never tried to hide that I feared him. I just tried to hide my tears. “Don’t you trust me?” I choked out.
He took a deep breath, his hand leaving my breast. “It’s hard for me to trust anyone. That’s why I’m this way.”
“I’m your wife. I’ve never done anything to make you not trust me.”
He rolled onto his back. “It’s not you—it’s me.”
“If I ask you a question, will you get mad and hurt me?”
He looked over at me. “No, that’s what I’m saying. I do it when I’m caught off guard.”
“Okay ...” I took a deep breath. He opened the can of worms and I wanted to know the answer. “How were you okay before we got married? You never hurt me then.”
