Page 1 of Sensation Fantasies 3
CHAPTER ONE
Slate
My entire life revolved around baseball.
I’d lived and breathed the game since I was four years old, got drafted right out of junior college, and I was part of a couple of amateur championship teams at both the high school and college levels. My high school won a state championship, and my junior college won a National Junior College Athletic Association (NJCAA) national championship, where I was twice named an NJCAA All-American. Since being drafted to the Arizona Diamondbacks, I’d won consecutive Rawlings Gold Glove Awards for center fielders because of my overall outfield defense, strong throwing arm, and prowess for frequently robbing home runs.
Everyone knows the baseball me, but only three people know therealme.
Currently, since 2015, there had only been two active gay Major League Baseball players. I was gay, but I wasn’t one of the two. I hadn’t come out because I didn’t want anyone—the media specifically—to focus on my sexuality instead of my skill as a center fielder. Only my parents and my best friend, Leigh, knew, and she only knew because I’d tried to cover it up in high school by dating her for a year.
I’d started a relationship with Leigh because all of my teammates seemed to have girlfriends, and I wanted to fit in. With—like the girls said—my handsome good looks, my pretty green eyes, and my athletic ability, the girls flirted with me and asked to give me head more times than I could count, so I asked my best friend, Leigh, to be my girlfriend. It came out of left field, but for some reason, she didn’t question me. I assumed it was because she liked me.
She found out I was gay when the pressure to have sexlike everyone elsegot too high.
“Why won’t you sleep with me after prom? Do you think I’m ugly?”she’d asked.
“Of course not.”
“Then what’s the problem? Everyone is doing it.”
I’d swallowed down my lie.“I’m not ready.”
“Why?”
“I’m just not.”
“So you’re waiting for marriage?”
I’d opened my mouth to respond, but the words wouldn’t come out. I never thought about marriage because, at that time, marriage wasn’t an option for gay men.
“I honestly don’t think I’ll ever get married,”I’d finally stated.
Her face had fallen slightly.“I thought you loved me?”
“I do,”I’d argued, and I did, but it was like a sister. Our first kiss was awkward and never got better, and after a while, we’d stopped kissing altogether, and we never went farther, but Leigh never dumped me.
Looking back, I realized that she knew all along.
She’d knelt in front of me as I sat on the end of my twin bed in my bedroom.“Slate, just tell me the truth. You’re my best friend in the whole entire world.”
“And you’re mine.”
She’d hesitated for a moment.“Then you know you can trust me.”
“I don’t have anything to tell you. Besides, I’m just not ready.”
“Then kiss me.”
My stomach had dropped as I’d leaned forward to press my lips to hers.“Happy now?”
“No,”she’d whispered.
I’d stood out of anger. “Then what is it that you want me to tell you?”
“The truth, Slate.”
“The truth about what?”
