Page 48 of The Dance
He stuck out his hand. “Deal.” We shook, and then he put the truck into reverse and backed out of the parking space. “Why did you tell me to forget you that night? I thought we had a good thing when we were hooking up.”
I bobbed my head slowly and closed my eyes. Taking a deep breath, I said, “Because I’m fucked-up.”
“What do you mean?” He pulled onto the main road.
“That night … The one when you know?”
“Yeah.” He gave me a tight smile, showing me he knew I was talking about the night I was raped.
“Nothing has been the same. I’m like a zombie. No.” I shook my head. “More like a robot. I do what I need to do to still exist.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“All right, but when and if you do, I’m here for you. Always have been.”
“Even if I piss you off again?” I smirked.
Blake grunted a laugh. “Yeah, even if you piss me off again.”
“Thank you.”
He reached over and squeezed my knee. “Let’s just pretend we’re in love, and tomorrow, after breakfast, I’ll bring you home.”
I blinked, remembering I had an overnight bag, and he was driving to his parents’ house where he lived. “Wait. I’m sleeping over at your parents’ house?”
“Yeah, that’s where I live now.”
“They’re going to think we had sex under their roof.”
“Think or know?” He winked and smiled the smile I always drooled over.
Even though it had been forever since I’d seen him, his smile still made my belly flip. I swallowed. “We can’t have sex.”
“Why not? It’s not like we haven’t before.”
“It’s your parents’ house.”
“So?” he challenged.
“And,” I continued, “I haven’t had sex for pleasure since …”
“Since?” Blake prompted after I was silent for a few moments.
“Since the last time we had sex.”
“After Ronnie’s wedding?”
I nodded.
“Are you fucking serious?”
I stared at him. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“You’re right,” he agreed. “I don’t understand, but I’m willing to fix that.”
“I don’t know if you can.” It wasn’t as though I hadn’t had sex since the night I was attacked, but it wasn’t likeIhad sex with the daddies, either. I wasn’t me. I’d changed my Sugar Baby name to Stephanie since it was close to Stacey, and when I had to sleep with daddies, I was her. Blake got Stacey. Blake got the real me. Theoldme.
