Page 47 of Shameless
She and I had had an on-and-off relationship, one where we would go months without seeing each other. In the end, I tried to make it work with her because I’d thought that was what I’d wanted after observing firsthand how Brandon and Spencer were so in love. But what I felt for Stacey didn’t come close to how much I yearned to be with Sarah every day. I couldn’t imagine going one, two, or three months without being next to her. Without kissing her. Without holding her. So, maybe it was too soon, but did love and feelings have a timeframe?
* * *
After a few daysof visiting several industrial and commercial locations for Club 24, I narrowed it down to a few options for Brandon and Jason to consider. Sadly that meant my days with Sarah were ending, at least until I could come back. But I didn’t know when exactly that would be because it depended on the close of escrow and when the construction would start.
With Sarah sound asleep next to me in bed, I grabbed my phone to check my emails. I was still on Texas time and didn’t want to wake her or the sleeping dog curled at her feet, but as I opened the email app, I saw the one I’d been trying not to think about.
“Holy shit!” I gasped and sat up, causing both Sarah and Skye to startle.
“What’s wrong?” Sarah asked.
“I got the paternity results.”
“And?” she probed.
My finger hovered over the email. “I don’t know. I didn’t open it yet.”
“Oh.” She pulled the sheet around her.
I took a deep breath, set my phone down, and grabbed her hand. “I hadn’t expected the results to come while I was here because the office said it could take up to ten days, but I want you to know that whatever it says, I want nothing to change between us.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll understand if you don’t want to be with me if I’m the father.”If I was the father. Holy shit. Was my world about to change? Was another little Montgomery going to be running around?
“Hey”—Sarah cupped my cheek—“I don’t want this to come between us. You’ve already told me you don’t want to get back with Stacey, and while I was trying not to think about you becoming a father, I have considered it. It’s not a picture-perfect storyline, but neither is my life. I’m divorced for Christ’s sake, and I don’t have a good track record with exes either.”
“Yeah, but you’re also not pregnant with his baby.”
“I know, but I really like you, Blake. If you’re going to be a dad, then I’m prepared to have that child in my life too.”
Damn, was this woman perfect or what?
“Okay.” I grabbed my phone. “Well, let’s do this then.”
I clicked on the email and immediately the words “excluded as the biological father” caught my eye. I scanned the email again and read aloud the entire sentence. “The alleged father is excluded as the biological father of the tested child. Based on the analysis of STR loci listed above, the probability of paternity is 0%.”
A weird sensation washed over me. It was a mix of joy and disappointment and one I’d never experienced before. Now that I knew I wasn’t going to be a father, I felt at ease, but the results also cracked my heart a little.
Sarah wrapped her arms around my neck. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Yeah,” I breathed. “Dodged that bullet.”
She pulled back. “Yeah, and now you can move on with your life and not have the drama that comes with baby mamas and all that.”
“Right. It’s just …”
She lifted a brow. “It’s what?”
“I don’t know why I’m feeling this way, but a part of me is bummed.”
“Oh.” She backed up as though the words hurt her.
I reached out my hand for hers. “Not because I want a kid with Stacey, but the thought of being a father isn’t so off-putting.”
“To be honest, I thought I’d be a mother by now. I’m almost thirty and my friends you met in Mexico all have kids. I’m the last one, so I get what you’re saying, but like you said yesterday morning, I think things happen for a reason too and our pasts have led us here. I’m not saying I want you to knock me up, but I want you to know that eventually, I will want kids too.”
“You have a kid.” I nudged my head toward Skye as she chewed on one of Sarah’s shoes.
