Page 61 of Shameless
She closed her eyes and I continued to hold her hand. I watched as the gasps between her breaths became longer and longer. My parents came back into the room and my dad held her other hand. As my aunt drifted off into the afterlife, she was surrounded by those who loved her the most.
22
Blake
When Sarah had showedup at the club to surprise me, I couldn’t have predicted what was in store for us. Never would I have thought we’d race off to San Antonio and barely make it in time for her to say goodbye to Deb.
Deb and I had shared a special bond, one we had formedthat summerand I’d told no one about. I hadn’t seen her since my last day on the farm that summer when I’d said goodbye and thanked her for taking me in. Who knew that the next time I saw her, it would be in a hospital room, watching as she took her last breath. I wished more than anything I could have changed what had happened. Sarah’s and my mom’s hearts were breaking and there was nothing I could do except hold Sarah and let her cry against my tear-soaked T-shirt. My father did the same for my mom as we left the hospital in a daze.
Before we left the hospital, we told Roger we would give him some alone time at the house he shared with Deb. Then the four of us went to a department store and bought the necessities to get through the night, since we had left Houston without anything. We’d also picked up puppy food for Skye and made sure she had everything she needed as well.
The entire night, I held Sarah in my arms as she cried. I didn’t get any sleep, and I wasn’t sure she did either. When it came time for us to head to Deb’s house, I knew in my heart it was going to be difficult to walk inside now that she wasn’t there, but we had offered to help Roger with whatever he needed while we were still in the area, and I’d do what I could. Sarah’s parents were also going to come and help once we had to go back to Houston.
Pulling down the dirt road to Deb’s behind my folks was surreal. Even though Sarah and I were dating, it never crossed my mind I’d be back at the farm.
“We should have stopped and got Roger some food,” Sarah said, peering down the road in front of us.
“I can run out and grab some lunch.”
“Thanks, but I think we should make him a bunch of meals and freeze them.”
“Oh. Okay.” I pulled to a stop next to my parents.
“You know, because he’ll probably be dealing with a lot and—”
“Hey.” I reached over and grabbed her hand. “I’ll go to the store. Don’t worry. How about you and my mom figure out what to cook and my dad and I will go get whatever you need?”
She nodded. “I should offer to help him with all the arrangements too.”
“There will be time for that, sweet thing. Let’s check on Roger and get him stocked with food. He probably hasn’t had time to think about everything that needs to be done yet.” I had no idea how long they’d been married. In fact, I hadn’t known Deb had remarried until we were at the hospital and he introduced himself to me after Sarah went into Deb’s room. No matter how long they had been together, I had no doubt this was difficult for him.
“Okay.” She reached for the handle to get out. “Shit. I need to call work and change my flight and—”
“Let my mom help you when my dad and I go to the store.”
“I don’t know if she can do either.”
“What I’m getting at is you’re not alone. Everything will be okay.”
“It’s not okay, Blake. Aunt Deb died,” Sarah bawled.
Shit.I hadn’t meant everything would be fine, but that she didn’t need to worry and shit. I wanted her to let me deal with what needed to be done. To be her strength and her soft place to land.
I reached across the console and wrapped my arms around her the best I could. “I know. That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry.”
“I just don’t know what to do,” she cried.
“I don’t think any of us do.” I pulled back and wiped a tear from her cheek. “Let’s just take it one step at a time.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
We got out of my truck; Sarah grabbed Skye on her leash. Deb’s place hadn’t changed much in the ten years I’d been gone. The apple trees stood across from the driveway with the barn that stored the harvest, and I steered clear as it made my hands hurt just looking at the fruit. Don’t get me wrong, I had a memorable summer with Deb all those years ago, but I wasn’t wanting to pick any apples, that was for damn sure.
Rounding the hood, I walked next to Sarah, draping an arm across her shoulders. My parents came up next to us and we made our way to the front door. As we got closer, the door opened, revealing a distressed Roger. It was clear he hadn’t slept by the redness of his eyes, his disheveled blond hair, and his wrinkled clothes. I couldn’t imagine the pain of losing the person I loved most in the world, and without thinking, I pulled Sarah tighter against my side.
“Hey, y’all,” he greeted solemnly. “Please come in.”
We walked inside, and Sarah let Skye off her leash.
