Page 78 of After Hours Lectures
As we sat in silence for several moments, no one came into the garage. I didn’t start the car to leave. Instead, I ran my hands down my face and took a deep breath, willing myself to find the strength to utter the words that I knew were the right ones to say. “Tyler,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “We have to end this. Now that three people know, it’s too risky for us to continue. We’re so close to school ending and we can’t jeopardize your future.”
He looked at me. “I’ll talk to Ford and he won’t say anything.”
“You don’t know that. We’ve known all along being together was a gamble. I had hoped we would be okay, but I can’t be selfish about this.” A lump was forming in my throat. I had been greedy with Jonah, but I wouldn’t make the same mistake with Tyler.
In the yellow glow of the parking garage lights, I could see Tyler’s eyes had become glassy. “You’re not being selfish. We can just keep our distance until school is over.”
I shook my head. “I would if it were that easy, but from the beginning we haven’t been able to stop ourselves from being together. It will only be harder now because I love you.”
“I love you too, which is why I don’t think we need to break up.”
I swallowed the knot in my throat. “You have a job offer that will take you away for a while, and we already knew it was going to be difficult having a long-distance relationship when you moved back to California.”
“I haven’t accepted the offer yet. Maybe—”
“I can’t ask you to choose me over your dream job.”
A single tear slipped down his cheek, and my heart shattered into a million irreparable pieces. I wanted to wipe it away, to tell him that everything would be all right, but I knew I couldn’t. Our love had become a ticking time bomb, threatening to explode and demolish everything in its path. Walking away was the right thing to do.
I reached out a trembling hand, wanting desperately to hold him, to ease his pain. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t let myself get lost in his touch because it would only make saying goodbye more unbearable. I let my hand fall back to my side, feeling only the emptiness of the space between us.
“I can’t stand the thought of losing you,” he whispered.
I closed my eyes, trying to block out the pain that radiated through every fiber of my being. “I don’t want to lose you either, Tyler.” My voice trembled. “But we have to protect ourselves.”
“And what if he doesn’t tell? What if we break up for no reason?”
“And what if he does?” I argued. “What if you get suspended, don’t graduate, and lose everything you’ve worked so hard for?”
Silence hung heavy in the air, suffocating us both as we faced the unbearable weight of our decision. The SUV felt small and claustrophobic, as if it were closing in around us, mirroring the walls we had built around our hearts to keep our love hidden.
“So, this is it?” he asked.
Tears streamed down my face, and I felt my resolve crumbling like a sandcastle dissolving beneath relentless waves. I wanted to scream, to fight against the unfairness of it all. But I knew deep down this was the only choice we had.
Tyler was only twenty-two and had his entire life ahead of him. He’d regret risking his future for a relationship. Even though we were in love and I wanted to see how our future could unfold together, I couldn’t let him pass up an opportunity to live out his dream.
“Yes,” I sobbed. “I’m sorry.”
Our tear-filled eyes locked, and he said, “I’ll never forget you, Hayden. No matter what happens, you’ll always be a part of me.”
“And I’ll always love you.”
He opened the door.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“I’m going to call a rideshare to take me home.”
“I can drive you.”
He shook his head and stepped out. “That’s not a good idea and you know it.”
Without another word, he shut the door and walked away. No matter how much I wanted to run after him, to tell him I’d changed my mind, I knew it was for the best.
Once he was out of sight, I started my car and drove out of the garage. I stared through the windshield as I navigated the familiar streets, but the road ahead was hazy from the tears that blurred my vision.
Every turn and stoplight felt like a cruel reminder of what once was. Memories flooded my mind, moments of joy and intimacy that now seemed distant, almost surreal. The laughter, the shared secrets, the simple pleasure of holding him in my arms—it all felt like a dream slipping through my fingers.
